Ghost |Tag: Dania, Eden|

[Brennan Shardae]

He hadn't even been certain that she would deign to meet him, but he'd left the note pinned to her windowsill that asked her to do so, anyway.  He hadn't even said that the note was from him, just that if she wanted to know what had happened to her husband, she should.  It hadn't taken much for the Flight to decide that he'd been killed, not with the obvious signs of struggle and the amount of blood that had been found all over the alley, not to mention his discarded firearms, but the body hadn't been found.  That left questions, and he had no doubt that his wife wanted answers.  It had taken a little time for him to be stable enough that the falcon magic wouldn't go haywire at a moment's notice, but he hadn't been willing to wait long enough that he had full control.  He didn't want to leave Dania waiting.

Tonight, all she had to do was leave the safety of her room for her balcony if she wanted to talk to him, and he wouldn't have blamed her if she didn't want to, but he hoped she would nonetheless.  Unsure whether he wanted to venture any closer, he perched on the thick wall that served as the railing around the balcony, wings held close, but still visible.  He'd gotten used to wearing his demi form because it was what Theia preferred, and it would make the switch to falcon even faster should Dania want him gone, but it was mostly just the habit, at this point.  Fortunately, the darkness of the night would make his wings look entirely black to her, at least at first.  The same would go for his eyes, he hoped, as long as she didn't turn on the lights in her rooms and he didn't get close.  He didn't know how she'd take it.

Even so, she deserved to know.  Theia had even encouraged him going to tell her, though for reasons other than the ones he had.  He got the feeling that Theia just wanted Dania gone from his life, when all he really wished was for everything to mend itself so that his wife wouldn't be.  He wasn't an optimist, though.  He really did believe that he was showing up to apologize, and say goodbye.

[Dania Shardae]

Dania had seen the note, and she'd been sitting through an agonizingly boring dinner between her parents and other members of her family, running her finger around the rim of her crystal glass that held her water in a most bored fashion. Her mother had snapped at her a few times when Dania had failed to answer questions directed at her, but it was extremely hard for her to hide her distaste for the event when she had that note in the back of her head.

It was her brother who gave her the escape. "Dania," he asked, furrowed brow. "Sister, are you feeling well? You've hardly touched your plate." Dane was always over-protective of his sister, and Dania used it to her advantage.

"Actually, I do feel rather ill," she lied, smiling faintly. She glanced up at the party, and began to stand. "If you'll all excuse me, I believe I'd like to lay down for a while. Please, continue on without me," she said graciously. With that, she marched out of the room as slowly as she could allow herself to do without breaking into a sprint.

  Once she'd gotten into her own room, she'd done nothing save turn on a small bedside lamp, and sat down with a loud and exaggerated sigh. It wasn't until she heard someone say her name softly that she turned around, and then she walked slowly, slowly towards the door to the large Roman-inspired balcony.

  "Who's there?" she demanded, sharp golden eyes flicking back and forth in the darkness. She couldn't see anything for the moment, having just stepped out of the light, but it wouldn't take long for her eyes to adjust.

[Brennan Shardae]

He didn't know that she'd excused herself from dinner below to sit in her room before his arrival, but he appreciated that there would be fewer people to potentially show up and ruin things.  He needed to talk to Dania alone, not with her mother or brother present.  All things considered, he was certain that if he'd been in their position, he wouldn't have trusted himself, either.  He wouldn't have blamed them if they didn't, but he was still glad that they weren't there.  It'd make talking to her just a little easier, and he got the feeling it was going to be hard enough as it was.

She left the safety of her rooms, demanding to know who'd called her name, and he waited quietly for her to appear on the balcony and for her eyes to adjust to the darkness out there before he made any movements.  He didn't want to frighten her.

"It's Brennan, Dania," he said softly, torn now between the reserved Brennan that Dania was familiar with and the Brennan that Theia was trying to draw out.  It was confusing, trying to meet different standards, but would she be more horrified in him if he was too outspoken?  "Back from the dead, I've been told."

[Dania Shardae]

Dania stiffened in her posture, not that it had been exactly relaxed before, and walked to the edge of the balcony, escaping what little light had made its way onto the ground behind her. She looked ethereal, spun of gold and wheat, with the tiny burst of the lamp behind her, but it was nothing in comparison to the darkness that ate at Brennan's entire form. She could see that it seemed to swallow him whole now that her eyes had adjusted, and it made her nervous.

  "What?" she asked, her tone sharp. She nearly demanded an answer, and in fact, she might have meant to in a way. She wanted answers, wanted them right now. Dania was used to having things go her way and being perfect and very suddenly Brennan was screwing with all of that.

  "Make sense," she commanded, as though that would clarify things.

[Brennan Shardae]

The sharpness in her tone and her demands were slightly surprising, but he realized rather suddenly that they shouldn't have been.  He was disrupting her world because none of what was happening was making sense.  It was unplanned and unexpected, and that didn't work for her.  It hadn't for a very long time, because when did the Heir ever do anything that wasn't planned down to the last detail?  Just her presence on the balcony, her beautiful, glowing warmth in the darkness that surrounded them, was impossible, but he was slowly realizing that the impossible was following him around.

He didn't know that he was making her nervous, or that it looked to her as though the darkness of the world behind and around him seemed to want to swallow him up, so he didn't realize that hopping down from the balcony ledge might be at all unwanted.  He still kept his wings folded neatly behind him, not willing to show them off just yet, but he tilted his head at her demands.  Surely, someone had spoken to her about him?

"I would expect that the Flight hasn't been slacking so far that they didn't find the bloodied alley I left behind.  I ran afoul of a vampire and his wolves, and without my wings, I was unable to escape.  He allowed the red wolf to tear into me, then left me to die.  I've been told I'm here because a falcon and some voodoo priest brought me back from the dead," he explained, offering her the answers that she so demanded.  It wasn't an answer that would make sense in her world, one that he'd have never believed possible before, but he wasn't going to argue with the results.  You didn't forget dying, not forever.  He may have initially, but he remembered those teeth.

"Tell me you wondered about me, at least," he told her, hoping she'd worried, at least a little.  Grieved, maybe.  Missed him.  Something.

[Dania Shardae]

 Dania instantly backed away from him, her body position changing from open and curious to defensive. He looked different, and her instincts screamed it even if it wasn't what she could see right away. As a raven, he was always dark and pale, but now, this contrast was... She couldn't see his wings, but it was different. He was different - and so when he said he'd risen from the dead, she believed him. His explanation only furthered her belief.

  "They found it," she said, hiding her fear behind that bored tone her mother had taught her so well. "They found it and your effects and I heard no more of it. My mother swept it under the rug, and to the best of everyone's knowledge you have been away on business for a very long time now, Brennan. I imagine if there was anything else found or uncovered, your family was informed and they kept me out of it because they felt I didn't need to know," she said plainly.

  She raised her chin a little when he mentioned the Falcon, her brows perking in that condescending sort of way. "Oh, a Falcon?" she asked, emphasizing the article that he'd chosen. As though there were thousands of Falcons flying about, meddling in her life, trying to make it worse than it already was. "Would this be the same Falcon that you went to visit shortly before you vanished? Yes, Brennan, I know about it, because my brother followed you," she said casually, waving her hand.

"I was upset, naturally, but I didn't get to have a moment to myself to sit and think about everything., because I don't get to think what I want or say what I feel or just go whenever I feel like it and see whoever I want. I have to tell at least ten people that I want to visit my own cousin. I actually began to believe the lie my mother fed everyone, that you were just away and that you'd come back sooner or later, because I didn't have a second to stop and accept that you were - gone," she said, unable to form the word "dead". "I haven't had one calm moment to myself since I was a child, did you really think I'd be able to stop and plan a funeral service when I wasn't even allowed to acknowledge that you were...?" Again, the word avoided.

  She changed her position, walking towards him slowly, as though she wasn't sure he was actually real. "I've rehearsed this over and over in my head, because I let myself believe for a short while that you would come back, but then you didn't," she added. She stopped just shy of him, and reached out, like she was convincing herself that he wasn't real - and really, that's exactly what she was doing. She was mentally chiding herself, calling herself stupid and emotional for being so utterly worked up over a - a ghost, because Brennan was dead.

  Finally, she seemed to crack a little, and touched his face, very very lightly. When she found that he was flesh and bone and not in her head, she made a small mewling noise - it was very awkward coming from someone who'd been acting so high and mighty seconds before, and covered her mouth with both hands. Brennan was the only person she'd ever cared about - that she was allowed to talk to, anyways, and despite trying to pull her mother's cool, disinterested attitude, she wasn't that emotionally wrecked. Not quite.

[Brennan Shardae]

Her bored, unaffected tone was like a slap to the face, and though he didn't move in the slightest over it, he felt something inside of him sink as though he'd expected something more.  Maybe he had, in the back of his mind, but he knew that he shouldn't have.  She was angry, and then there was the matter of Theia, and he wasn't going to lie just because she was angry.  She questioned his wording, and he nodded his agreement.  He wasn't surprised, but he let her finish talking, let her skip over the word 'dead' as many times as she needed to, and he was torn between speaking and breaking whatever spell he could that had her worried he might disappear before she could touch him, moving out of her grasp, and simply standing there to allow her to do as she would.  It was a tough call, because he didn't really know what would happen if she touched him.  Was he different?  Would she know he was different?  Would she recoil as soon as she realized?  He didn't want her rejection, despite knowing that it was inevitable.

"It was the same falcon," he admitted, refusing to lie.  "She nearly killed herself, and I was worried she had.  Nothing more."

It was why he'd gone there.  He'd saved her life once before, Dania knew that because guards talked and Brennan was hurt in the process, and he hadn't liked the idea that she might have tried again after he'd stopped her the first time.  He hadn't seen her again after that, not until he'd died.

"I'm sorry.  I shouldn't have gone out to begin with, and I should have come back sooner.  I had to wait until it was safe, though," he told her, and he meant it all.  None of this would have happened if he hadn't gone out that day, and perhaps he would have remained wingless and hated the rest of his days while Dania got colder every moment, more like her mother and less feeling every time the sun dropped out of the sky, and maybe he would have been replaced because he was useless, a flightless raven, or maybe he would have stayed and they could have had a child that would someday suffer the same cold fate as its mother.  He wouldn't be standing here, however, feeling like an outsider in the only life he'd ever known.

He lifted his hand to touch his skin where hers had just moments before, and he wondered just how much difference she was seeing already that she was hesitant to believe he was really there.  Did he not look like himself?  He could hardly tell, not with the way everything seemed so off for him.  He looked in the mirror and foreign violent eyes stared back and him from a pale face that didn't feel like it belonged.  He'd always been pale and angular in his features, but if he was to believe Theia, he wasn't the same as he'd been before.  It was upsetting.

"I'm sorry that you've had to endure alone.  I didn't intend to be gone."

He was sorry for a lot, and he hadn't even finished.  She didn't know it all, yet, but how do you tell someone that you're not the same on such a base level? 

[Dania Shardae]

 "Maybe not, but a lot of things happened that nobody intended," she said honestly. She was starting to relax a little, Brennan taking that familiar tone and approach to her as he had many times before. "We've both made mistakes, but it'll be fine." She thought for a moment, and tilted her head. How could she fix this?

  "I can have you fly down and go back downstairs and tell my mother that you've just arrived," she said. "Whether or not people think you're dead is beside the point - if they see you, they'll swallow that lie we've made whole and nobody will mention it ever again. We can fix this, and then we can get back to normal. I think - " She looked into his eyes, expecting that warm, full brown that was Brennan to still be there, but his eyes were -

"What happened to your eyes, Brennan?" she asked, her form stiffening again. What was this madness?

[Brennan Shardae]

It was cruel, allowing him that short moment of hope when she calmed and started thinking towards a practical approach to the situation.  She was suggesting getting back to normal, which was all he'd really wanted, he'd decided before he'd even run into Raphael and his wolves.  He wanted normal, because boring normal was better than the events that had occurred recently. 

There had to have been some small part of him that knew better than to accept her calmness and solutions as such, because when they made eye contact, really made that contact, he did nothing more than stiffen some at her question.  He'd known it was coming.  It wasn't as though you could hide it, and this particular color didn't even require that the person pay attention.  It leapt out at you, he knew from short glances in a mirror.  He hadn't ever thought that she wouldn't notice, or wouldn't ask.

Knowing she would ask and having a good answer ready weren't the same, though.

He lowered the eyes that had just effectively ruined her plans, his head lowering a little as well, almost as though he were defeated, and he took a step closer to her, further into the limited light from her quarters and spreading his wings some.  They weren't raven wings.

"Apparently, life after death doesn't come without its price."

[Dania Shardae]

 Dania was shell-shocked. "I thought when you said - I thought - I thought you were being facetious! I didn't realize that they actually had brought you back from the dead!" she exclaimed, stepping away from him. She gasped in horror (really, it was worthy of an Oscar) when she saw his wings, because they were not the same that she remembered. Black like midnight, like before, but with teals and violets, and their shape was different and his feathers were different and - it was different!

  "Make them change it back!" she demanded.

  Yes, Dania really felt that he could go back and have it fixed. It didn't occur to her that he'd tried, obviously, because she hadn't gotten that far along in the thought process yet. Of course, eventually she'd feel rather stupid for even insisting that he hadn't, but she still refused to believe that he'd just go along with something like this.

  "Seriously, go back there and tell them - tell that girl to fix it! I can't be with a - a Falcon," she whispered, her voice shrill. "Do you know what would happen? My entire family - Oh, god, Brennan, your family - the entire people as a whole - we can't even have an heir!"

[Brennan Shardae]

He didn't speak up as she went off about his wings, about him being a falcon, about her family and his family and them being unable to have an heir.  He knew all of these things, had already thought about them and known that it was never going to work.  He knew it.  They could never have an heir with hawk and falcon blood.  Her people would never accept it, even if it could reasonably survive.  He knew what falcon magic could do, had already experienced some of it, and he was reining in his emotions like old times, just to keep the magics stomped down.  He was nervous, he was upset, he was watching his last chances at his old life flare up and die.  If she'd been upset some by the way the dark was pulling at him before, she was certain to be upset by it now, if she were to pay any attention through her verbal outburst.  It was the most upset he'd heard her sound in a very long time.

He shouldn't have, but he secretly treasured that emotion out of her.  He hadn't even realized how Theia was making him appreciate outbursts and visible emotions.  He didn't want reserve.  He didn't want to hold back his own emotions, especially not here.  He shouldn't have to!

"What do I tell them, Dania?" he asked, not angry, but frustrated.  If she really had an idea, he was open to it, but it wasn't as though he hadn't tried.  "Please, understand that I didn't ask for it.  I was dead, literally dead, when the decision was made.  I had no control over what happened, and it isn't as though I can really complain to them about how they brought me back and gave me wings.  I'm in no rush to die again if they decide I'm too ungrateful."

It was a good point, but the first time he'd ever vocalized it.  He didn't think it was beyond either Amaltheia or Aristide to decide that he was stupid and didn't deserve to have what they gave him.  Both of them looked at his new falcon status as an 'upgrade'.  In a way, he saw it.  He really did.  He was something now that he'd have never been able to be before, and he didn't want to disappoint Theia.  He was stuck, torn between Dania, duty and the love that he really did have for her and their marriage, and Theia, who was all spontaneity, power and fire.  They were cold and hot, light and dark, and in a way it reminded him of the second time they'd had to go to Aristide.  The raven and falcon in him were warring, and one had to be removed from the equation lest they rip him apart.  It was the falcon that remained.

It seemed unlikely that the falcon wouldn't be what remained this time, too.

"If my family finds out, they will disown me," he said suddenly, not making any question of it.  They would, he knew that.  They would call him an abomination, an imposter, anything but their son.  Already, he could see that this was impossible, that everyone believing that he was dead truly was for the best.  He regarded Dania once more with the brilliant violet of his eyes, all the proof that she needed that he just wasn't the same.  She'd recoiled, she had, upon seeing his wings, as though they were unwanted.  As much as they were different from what he'd been born with, they were wings, and he could fly again.  He couldn't say that he wished he was grounded, not and be honest with himself.

Theia loved them.  She may not tell him much that she liked where he was concerned, only really when he was unpleasant, uptight and difficult, but she loved his wings.  He could see that in her eyes when she thought he wasn't looking, and she'd said it a few times, especially at first.  She didn't recoil from them.

God, it was so wrong of him to be comparing them, but how could he not?  It seemed almost as though both of them were unhappy with him, and why?  Because he was holding onto both of them.  They were polar opposites, and what one treasured would be what the other disliked.  He couldn't do both.  It was now, here, tonight, that it had to be decided.  He had to decide.  Was he staying here, trying to force this situation, or going back to Theia?

"Dania, our families be damned, I will stay if it's what you want.  I won't cause you unnecessary anguish, though.  By rights, you are a widow, and I won't hold you to our vows," he told her after a deep breath, raising his head and standing straight.  There was nothing that could be done.  He knew this.  He was the man that was standing before her, whether either of them liked it, or not.  He couldn't change this, so she needed to decide. 

If he was honest with himself, he didn't think that she'd want the man that he was currently.  The way she'd said 'falcon', he knew that she didn't want him, but he had to hear her say it.

[Dania Shardae]

 Dania hesitated. She was doing it again - demanding things that wouldn't possibly happen because the result wasn't proper enough for her liking. He was correct in assuming nobody would accept him and he'd be disowned - they'd probably pretend he never existed, and then Dania'd have a whole new history to learn.

She was selfish and wanted things to go back to how they were - but could they, really? Could she really deal with the fact that as a falcon he was going to be completely foreign to her? She'd have to learn things all over again about him, and he'd been gone and she'd been sad but she'd dealt with it before. She wasn't dealing with it now, not like she was supposed to, and she didn't really know what to do.

Brennan had a shot at a life outside of their oppressive and cold society, and she wouldn't take that away from him - not like it had been taken away from her. She was quiet, as though scared to move forward with what she'd decided, and then she spoke.

  "No, Brennan," she said. She fumbled with her hands for a moment, and then pulled her ring off and tossed it at him. "I'm not going to do this again. You..." she trailed off, her voice shaky. "You have a chance to get out. A real chance. This life that we had? As good as it was, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy," she whispered. "Let's be honest - we were paired off. You didn't pick me anymore than I picked you. And maybe - maybe what we feel is love, but it's not the right kind. I know it isn't, because I see how hateful its made everyone around me. The only people in my family who are happy are Link and Andromeda, and mom calls them the black sheep because they express that they're happy," she snapped.

  She shook her head. "I appreciate that you came here, I really do, but I think - I think it's just time to let go of everything that we knew, and get on with our lives." Really, it sounded like Dania meant for him to go away and she'd go back to being the princess, but she'd finally really had enough, not that she'd tell him that. It'd probably hurt him to know what she was cooking up in her mind at that moment.

 

[Brennan Shardae]

He caught the ring almost instinctively, and then stared down at it in his hands.  He wasn't crushed, not in the least, but he was confused by how he felt.  He wasn't used to staring at his emotions head on, not yet, but he was both trying not to refuse them and trying to hold back at the same time.  You can't have both, but fighting with falcon magic isn't exactly easy.  He wasn't sure which he preferred.

Surprisingly, he nodded, understanding exactly what it was she was saying.  "I do love you, Dania, but you're right.  We were chosen for each other.  I would like to think that we will see each other again, but I can understand if you want to forget.  Let your family think I stayed dead, and I wish you well."

He really did, and if there was a way he could pull her out of the nightmare that she admitted she wouldn't wish on her worst enemy, he would, but that wasn't exactly realistic, was it?  Who but she could do that?  Besides, she was a princess, and she didn't sound opposed to going back to it without him.  He truly did hope that she found happiness, but he wasn't the optimistic sort.  She wouldn't, not here.  "You know where to find me if you need me."

She'd known that he went to see Theia.  It wouldn't be a leap of logic to know that he was there. 

[Dania Shardae]

 Dania nodded, and turned to go into her room so as not to see Brennan leave. It still made her quake with jealousy that he'd gone to see Theia, but she had no right - literally, no right at all. She marched through her room, taking a deep breath as she hit her door and went down the hall to the stairs. She could still hear the clangs of glasses and silverware below - it had only been perhaps thirty minutes, her family and friends were still eating, perhaps only by now to the main course. Dania paused before she was in sight, and looked at her reflection against one of the many mirrors in the home.

  Could she do this? Her golden eyes seemed empty and dull, and she really had just done the second hardest thing she'd had to do in her life by setting Brennan free. She felt remorse, but more because she didn't love him the way she should have, and that she should have missed him more. But she hadn't been allowed to - and that was what she was about to fix. She straightened up and went into the dining room, grabbing a fork and a lead crystal from off the table.

  "Excuse me, I have an announcement to make," she interrupted, tapping the crystal so fiercely she thought she'd break it. When everyone quieted down, she could see her mother already standing to make excuses for her daughter - sick, she'd say. With fever. Unwell. Delerious.

  "I'm sorry about before. I lied. I'm not sick, haven't ever been sick," she said. She walked around the table, holding up her hand as the murmur started. "I just wanted to come down here and tell each of you formally and in person that I quit."

  "Dania," her mother hissed. "What are you doing?"

  "Sit down, mother," Dania snapped. "To those of you who I disappoint - I'm sorry. To those of you who wanted to see me fail, I'm sorry, too, because this isn't failure at all, and if you think the only way to live is by having everyone tell you what to feel and how to feel it, then I pity you."

  "Dania, that is ENOUGH!" her mother shouted.

  "SHUT IT, MOTHER!" Dania snapped. "I quit. I renounce my title. I hereby declare I'm no longer Dania Aurelia Shardae, next in line to be Tuuli Thea. I pass my title on to Callisto," she said, and Callisto looked both shocked and smug at the same time.

  "What on Earth are you doing, cousin?" Celene asked her, standing up, her eyes expressive and concerned.

  "What I should have done seven years ago," she responded under her breath. Aloud, she said, "I'm leaving. I'm taking nothing with me, and I'll no doubt be disowned, and that's fine. Everything on me that is you, mother, I don't want it and you can have it back. And please, do not follow me. There are places that even the Flight should not go, and that is where I'll be to ensure my own freedom if I must," she threatened.

Not some two hours after much explosive commotion had gone on, most of which Dania ignored on her departure from her home, a golden hawk made landfall at the club All Hallows, and Dania walked straight into the front door, greeted by a hyena who seemed as nervous of her as she was of the establishment.

  "I want to see Cobriana," she said firmly. The hyena, thinking she was a client, if not more beautiful than some of the others, obliged, and lead her to his office, where she chose to wait in silence save the bass of the club from down the long hall. Dania preferred to sit in the dark, and so she was pleased that only a small reading lamp was on, and it was away from her spot in a rather comfortable chair.

  She had no idea how long she'd have to wait for him, but in the meantime, she felt like crying, and since she was allowed to now, she'd do just that.

[Eden Cobriana]

Eden really had NO idea what kind of mess he was walking into when Jason informed him that he had a client in his office, and that was the start of the trouble.  He knew that he wasn't expecting any clients, and the odd look he gave Jason made the kid spit out that she was a pretty blonde, which really hadn't explained much.  He saw a lot of blondes.  Tonight was supposed to be an early night for him, damn it, so he hadn't been planning on entertaining.  He'd wanted to finish schedules, but even that seemed impossible with the club drama he was dealing with, and now he had to maintain a good game face for a woman he didn't want to see, but wouldn't send away with bad customer service.  He knew better. 

He didn't leave her waiting long, but he hesitated outside the door to take a deep breath, smooth out the muscles in his back and shoulders that had tensed over the course of the evening, and evened out the pleasant look he'd intended for her.  When he opened the door, he was prepared for anything.

He thought.

He shut the door harder than he'd planned the instant he saw her, and even without seeing her face, there was no denying what she was.  That was a Shardae woman, and he wasn't stupid enough to think that it was any of her relatives.  They wouldn't be caught dead in his club, and frankly, he wouldn't have thought that she would be.  What was the catch?

Swallowing his paranoia, pleasure at seeing her, and righteous anger at how she'd simply cut him out of her life all those years ago, he straightened again in front of the door, cocking an eyebrow up at her as she looked up at him and smiling at her, just a little.  This was too many emotions for even him without some kind of explosion.  He was waiting to figure out what kind of explosion was suitable. 

"Dania, you're as radiant as you ever--what the hell happened?" he demanded suddenly, all attempts at pleasantries gone.  She was crying, and he was leaning in front of her immediately, wondering if she was injured, but she didn't look even ruffled, not as though there had been a struggle of any sort.  He didn't understand.  "Are you alright?"