After Hours {tag Connor}

[Connor Batten]

Remember that bit about denial?  Forget it.  Connor, as he became more aware again and Val withdrew to leave him leaning on the tree, was perfectly able to build up some instant denial regarding his situation.  So, Val could essentially turn off his refusals by pulling a move like that.  That didn't mean that the vampire was in charge.  Connor could stop an argument by stabbing Val in a lung just as easily.

He suddenly found it to be rather ironic that Valerie's throat had been slit to save his soon-to-be bloodbond's eyes, and now Connor was getting his throat chewed on fairly regularly.  Val needed to not whine about the throat incident again.

He ended up snapping a simple 'shut up' when Val made his comment regarding Midnight's preferences, but it was the rest that caught his attention.  An understood relationship?  Oh, Connor understood their situation, since he wasn't willing to call it a 'relationship'.  "Considering this isn't a normal bond, I don't care what the 'understood relationship' is.  I don't belong to anyone but myself, and you are going to have to accept that," he told the vampire, though he still hadn't regained his full 'angry' tone.  HE was still feeling a bit subdued and floaty, but he could think again, which was what was helping him with the 'discussion'.

"I haven't been killed yet, so I see no reason to change my ways just because a cowardly vampire is stuck with me now."

[Stormy Quattrone]

Val forgot all about how he tried to be above Midnight's vampires and wished he was at Connor's neck again, so he could give the man a good, hard chomp and a piece of his mind. No sooner were the initial words out of Connor's mouth than Val wanted to scream. He didn't give a damn how Connor felt about their bond. There wasn't time or room enough in vampire power and politics to give a damn about how Connor, or Valerie for that matter, felt about the bond. What part of this was so difficult to understand?

Seriously!

And then came the 'cowardly' comment, and oh, that was just it. Val valued the difference between prudent and cowardly, which was a huge difference, thank you very much, and Val was not in the mood to be called names that didn't even apply to him. The only thing left in him that felt the least bit of okay was his stomach and the godforsaken bond over which they were arguing, because between the blood and the fighting it had gotten its cursed fill of contact. And if that wasn't just perfect irony, that he grew riled while the object of his irritation was sated, then Valerie had no idea what was.

"Do not TEMPT me," he hissed in response to Connor's reasoning regarding his own death. "How you ever got to be the head of a Guild is beyond me, as you clearly care for nothing but yourself!" That was what got him the most, that Connor wasn't ignoring the consequences, just the people - or person - that they affected. Valerie was going to end up a corpse thanks to this man, probably taking 'this man' with him, and the man in question couldn't seem to find it within himself to care. "Don't think that by ignoring this you can make it go away. Whatever life you had before this bond is infected with it, now, and it's never going to be the same again! You can't go back to knifing vampires in alleyways as though nothing has changed!"

[Connor Batten]

The more time passed, the more aware of things Connor was, especially with his temper rising again, and thinking once more of how he behaved when Val bit him was enough to make him want to gag.  That he felt far more weary than before only served to prove to him that vampire bites weren't something he wanted, since anything that could weaken him like that was to be avoided.  If Val could take enough to make him feel that way without him even noticing or caring, then it was something that had to stop.

"You are a vampire, for starters!" he finally stressed, getting just as frustrated as Val was by this point.  There were some things that Val didn't understand.  "And not only that, but you're a vampire that's been biting me, which by all rights means I should kill you.  Do you understand that?  I care for my hunters and for NORMAL people just fine, but vampires don't get included there." 

Even better was Val telling him that his life was going to be damaged by the bond, as though Connor hadn't already noticed.  "Don't you think that I know getting stuck with you like this is going to mess up my entire life?  I have a pregnant girlfriend who hates vampires even more than I do, and if she ever sees the god damn marks you've been leaving on my neck, she'll kill both of us.  Even if I just tell her about this bond she'll probably leave me, and when she eventually finds out she'll be pissed because I didn't tell her sooner.  Don't even bother telling me that my life is screwed, because I already know it," he told the vampire, his voice rather bitter as he finally unloaded on him.  Val thought that his life was messed up?  So Val was getting more powerful, and was stuck wanting to be around a human more often.  Connor had to deal with that regarding Val, he was more than likely immortal when everyone he cared about wasn't, his values were consistently being stomped on each time Val fed from him, and if a majority of the people he knew found out, they'd freak on him.

The last thing he needed was to deal with more troubles from Valerie, but they were there nonetheless.  "And now you're going to try to exert some control over me because you don't like the way I feel about vampires?  I haven't met one that didn't either screw my life up worse than it already had been, or want to do it, so I can't say I give a shit what the newest asshole vampire wants out of me."

[Stormy Quattrone]

Valerie could have been an asshole again and told Connor to stop whining, but the truth of it was that he was taken aback by the vehemence of the other man's words. It was one thing to imagine that Connor might have a reason for being as difficult as he was, and another thing completely to hear the whole ragged story in one breath. There was a lot in there which Valerie hadn't known or bothered to find out. He had known about the girlfriend, but not that she was pregnant, and having never met the woman could not have imagined her to be a source of distress for the man dating her. The gist of what Valerie caught was that he, Valerie, and the bond that connected Connor to him were putting a very dangerously crooked kink into the Hunter's straight-and-narrow plans that already allowed for very little deviation from their beaten path. Keeping those plans upright when they threatened to come tumbling down was wearing heavily on Connor. Valerie could accept that.

The rant hadn't given Valerie a complete one-eighty perspective or opinion on his feelings regarding Connor's situation, but he couldn't avoid the somewhat blunt blow of insight. It seemed Connor had been under more stress than Valerie had previously given him credit for. The right thing to do would be to apologize for adding to it, and then back down and offer to help however he could. But Connor wouldn't accept that kind of sugar-coated generosity, and frankly, Valerie was still a little too angry to feel like offering it. The best he could do at this time was to lose some of the patronizing in his voice, fold his arms and offer, if not a whole olive branch, then at the very least a leaf.

"I can't change what I am," Valerie said. The next thing to address would be the biting, but that might have to end in an apology on his part, and he couldn't give that right now, so he moved on. "Neither of us is under the easiest of circumstances, and it only wastes energy if we fight this. To survive, we must play the game, at least for now. I am not your enemy, Connor, unless you force me to be."

[Connor Batten]

"'Play the game'?  So basically, I have to pretend that I'm not who I am, because you can't change, so that the other vampires running around don't take offense?" he demanded, and it was pretty clear to him, at least in his mind, that he was exactly right.  If Val couldn't change, and that somewhat made sense, even if Connor didn't want to admit it, then that left the lowly human in the bond to make the sacrifices.  He might as well just kiss everything else goodbye.

He could try, though.  "Fine, if we're going to stop fighting, it's going to be with a compromise.  I'm not going to be the only one caving," he insisted, glaring at the vampire and daring him to argue.  "I'm not going to take a load of shit from a bunch of leeches.  I may be stuck as your bloodbond, but I'm still a hunter.  I will try to shut up and let you handle situations your way first, if you think you can fix them better.  Otherwise, I'm stepping up so we don't get walked on.  Got it?"

That would be a start, even if there were a million other things they had to address.  Considering the start of this problem, that was the most logical point to hit first, though.

[Stormy Quattrone]

That was it in a very crude but effective nutshell, Val thought, shrugging and giving an affirmative nod. He didn't like being included in the explanation of the problem, but Connor was beginning to calm down and Val didn't feel like jeapordizing that by arguing the point further.

"Very well." A compromise meant they were getting somewhere. He was in agreement with Connor's thoughts, though he didn't know it; there were other things to work out, but this wasn't a wholly terrible place to make a start. Again, Val nodded. "I can agree to that." He doubted, though, whether they had an understanding of when Val's compromising opportunity ended and when Connor's chance to muscle his way through began. Val was fairly sure that Connor would get restless of making small talk long before his vampire counterpart. "I would advise caution in your methods, but otherwise, I see no reason to refuse you the opportunity.

"Was there anything else?"

[Connor Batten]

No, Val couldn't know that they were actually on the same page for once, but that could eventually come later.  At some point, they might actually trust each other enough to leave their minds open, but this wasn't that time.  Val probably could have forced his way into Connor's thoughts, but that wouldn't help the trust issue.

"I know you don't trust me, but I'm really not as stupid as you seem to think," he pointed out, a little grudgingly.  He wasn't going to get them killed just for the hell of it.  True, some vampires wouldn't like taking attitude from a human, but that hadn't gotten him killed yet.  He wasn't going to just throw his own life away without a fight, and he wouldn't expect anything less from Valerie.  He would attempt to exercise a bit more caution, though. 

"I want to know what you expect of me in this mess of a bond, before it gets more out of control than it already is."  Since they were fighting, and now trying to compromise, he saw no reason not to 'negotiate' the terms of their situation now.

[Stormy Quattrone]

Considering the display earlier with Diana, Val might beg to differ on the issue of Connor's intelligence, but not now. Now, it seemed, they were finding it in themselves to be, if not friendly, then civil. Which meant a lot of holding their tongue on both their parts. Valerie was still wary of Connor again finding something he wanted that Val wouldn't be willing to give, and their temporary truce descending into another mess of shouting, blood and fangs. It had happened before and he woudn't put it past them to make it happen again.

He wanted to groan at Connor's second response. Here it was, their opportunity to again dig themselves into a hole. Some of that exasperation came through in his voice. "It's difficult to say, since it is, as you said, a 'mess of a bond'. Power shouldn't be shared as we share it, or gained. There should be no question as to who recieves the authority." He blew out a breath that was just as tired of the argument as his tone. "I expect... not complete obedience, but at least some consideration. I would like you to trust me to be doing this the best I know how." Saying that last bit had been like carving the words directly out of himself; grudging and painful.

[Connor Batten]

He was trying to be civil, really he was.  He had been most of the night, except right before Val bit him., and as with every other time the vampire had used his fangs to deal with an issue, it worked.  Mostly.  At least he wasn't going for that knife of his again, and they were sort of talking nicely to each other. 

"But there is a question about authority," he pointed out, catching the 'should' and rolling with it.  "As long as you're not expecting serious obedience, I said I'd try to back off and let you handle things.  I don't like it, or the fact that all those vampires get to look at me and think that I'm just your property, but I'll deal with it."  The end was said in a lower, not so pleased tone, and only because if they were compromising, he knew he had to give in, too.  If Val tried to be too bossy, he'd fight back, but otherwise, he'd try to cooperate. 

"The biting," he carefully brought up, aware that if they kept on the other topic, they'd just run in circles.  He didn't want to give in completely.  "Are you going to keep doing it?"

[Stormy Quattrone]

Ah, yes, of course. The biting. Couldn't have a heart-to-heart talk without bringing up that little stake in the chest. Difficult as it might be for Connor to believe it, Val was having almost nearly the same amount of trouble with that topic as the Hunter. Maybe not the same troubles, to be sure, but with each forced feeding, more and more of Valerie was beginning to wonder if this wasn't how the vampires of Midnight had begun their dark paths to torture and slavery.

At first, biting Connor had been a way of relieving stress; pure, malicious self-entertainment. It had moved from there to something that he would wheedle out of Connor when he was especially hungry, but in recent months it had slowly become a sort of cruel punishment. Valerie didn't like where this final incarnation of his feeding habits was headed. It would seem like a good idea at the time, a quick method of getting his way, whether that meant convincing Connor of something or simply shutting him up. But then, a lot of bad ideas felt perfectly reasonable at the time of their implimentation. Val recalled the Nazi slaughter of millions (he had stayed as far the hell away from the war as possible) in the mid 1900s. To a struggling nation, it had SEEMED like a good idea at the time. But in the end it had just been a massacre.

Just some minutes ago, it had seemed like a good idea to force Connor against a tree and perform what amounted to psychological torture, but in retrospect Valerie wasn't sure if he shouldn't be ashamed. Even if he HAD been correct in his argument.

It was a lot to go through one vampire's head, but the time that passed between Connor's question and Valerie's answer was minimal. He sighed, crossing his arms further and looking away from Connor into the emptiness of the trees. "I don't know." It was the most honest answer he could give. The problem was that biting Connor came with mixed feelings for both of them. For Val, it could be either the ultimate intimacy between vampire and bloodbond, or a punishment intended to drown Connor in the feeling he hated most, enjoyment of a vampire's bite. As for Connor, the man either enjoyed the sensation and the closeness the same as Val, or he shied away from danger it represented and the horrible reminder that he wanted something he had made it his life's work to hate. The whole cycle of pain and pleasure was twisted and sick, in Valerie's disgusted opinion. It should have been a fulcrum for them, a joining point, a place for them to be close, at one; whole. Instead, they made it their demon to slowly destroy them from the inside out.

Lacking anything else to say, he asked quietly, "Do you want me to stop?"

[Connor Batten]

"This would be a lot easier if one of us had a clue," he grumbled, sticking his hands in his pockets and leaning back on the tree, almost as though it would steady him through this.  Obviously, it wouldn't.  He had a point, but even if he could just get over his own hang-ups, it'd be easier.  He couldn't imagine not hating having a leech drink his blood, though.  He didn't want to be food for some other creature, even if it felt good.  Even if it could potentially make them both stronger, and more of a 'team'.  He was still being eaten.

It felt wrong just thinking about it, but he couldn't deny that it felt as amazing as it did.  It was why, every time Val got that close and hesitated, he couldn't say whether or not he wanted it.  He couldn't decide, because he was at war within himself over it.  "I don't know, either.  I hate being food for any vampire, not just you, but..."  He trailed off, because really, did Val need him to explain the other part?  It felt good.  It felt right, to part of him, just as it felt absolutely wrong to another part of his being.  He'd been worried about that all his life, even without the bond, having heard of humans becoming addicted to vampire bites.  He'd never wanted to deal with something like that, and here he seemed to have it even worse. 

"I can't honestly say I don't want you to do it again," he finally admitted, staring purposefully at something other than Val.  A leaf.  Good choice.

[Stormy Quattrone]

Again with the sighing, but Val wasn't sure how to make himself stop. This was a sigh-inducing sort of conversation. Neither of them would look at the other, preferring instead to admire foliage. The forest had probably never recieved so much attention before in its life.

"Then... we have a problem," Val said, stating the obvious. "What are we going to do?" The question could very well be rhetorical. Valerie certainly didn't have any answers, and he didn't know if Connor did, either. "I don't have to do it, Connor. The bond doesn't require it, and you're certainly not the only person in the city with blood." Between suffering the confusion of the bite and resisting the longing for it, Val was almost positive that Connor would choose to long from afar. "That doesn't mean I don't enjoy it as well," he added. "It makes the bond feel... whole. But if you tell me now to end it... I will." He wouldn't admit to his fears regarding his other reasons for biting his bloodbond, but this, at least, he could.

[Connor Batten]

He wanted to tell Val to end it.  He wanted to tell him to go to Hell, and find some other idiot to feed off of, and a million other things along those lines, but there was one thing he couldn't deny.  There was a part of him that wasn't entirely tiny that didn't want to tell Val to stop.  Val was right, the bond didn't require it, but the bond required closeness and the biting seriously helped with that.  Not to mention, thinking about it ending didn't sit entirely well with him.  It made him want to refuse to stop him right off the bat, but he remained silent.  It was something he had to decide carefully, because it was going to be a big deal.

As far as he knew, they were stuck like this forever.  Meaning, so long as Val lived, he would.  Or vice versa, technically.  That could be a VERY long time, and really, which did he feel less comfortable with?  Physical closeness or biting?  He really didn't want to be getting all cuddly and cozy with a guy, but was biting better or worse?  He hadn't ever actually thought about it, since he'd always fought against the idea on sheer principle.  The bond would require one or the other eventually, or drive them both more batshit than they were.

"Will you...try something?  Without being a complete ass?" he asked, looking at the vampire finally with a wary expression.  Like he really didn't want to ask this, but did so anyway.  "Will you bite me, not for long, but just so I can figure out what it's like without fighting with myself over it?"

If he couldn't stop feeling so entirely torn on the issue, he'd be telling Valerie to stop, but if he could handle being fed from, by just this vampire and no others because of the bloodbond, then maybe they could escape other problems.  Including Val biting him out of spite.

[Stormy Quattrone]

The look that Connor recieved for that was the full embodiment of Valerie's amazement that the Hunter had requested such a thing. Not because he didn't believe how much Connor enjoyed being bitten, but because Valerie had - apparently - underestimated Connor's initiative in overcoming his own fears. Valerie simply hadn't thought Connor capable of getting past his prejudices long enough to try something new. Maybe that was a lesson for the vampire; maybe he had been assuming himself to be the only mutable element in the bond, and overlooked a number of hidden qualities in Connor, as well.

If they could make this piece of their bond work, it would overcome some difficulties, not only in their physical blood relationship but in their understanding of the power balance between them, and their mutual understanding and - respect? -  for each other. It almost comforted Val that Connor was "stepping up," as it were. It meant Val could perhaps take a bit of a breather from the weight on their shoulders.

Val nodded, carefully. "Very well." He took a few steps in Connor's direction but stopped a short distance away, unsure as to whether Connor wanted Val to come to him or for himself to go to Val. Already, Val felt they were in new territory. They had no procedure for voluntary feeding.


((A gift to you before I head off to work. ^^ ))

[Connor Batten]

That was absolute truth, that they didn't have a procedure for voluntary feeding, and Connor was just as edgy about it as Val was.  That look he'd received, like Val might be wondering if he'd gone mad, wasn't entirely comforting, but other than watching the vampire rather warily, he remained where he was.  He didn't have anymore ideas as to how to go about this than Valerie seemed to, which was unfortunate on both of their parts. 

He already didn't like 'new territory' with Val, since it seemed to equal both of them being uncomfortable and unsure about the other, and that was just annoying.  He liked being confident enough in himself to handle just about anything, and this uncertainty was going to drive him nuts.  So, Val had stopped before reaching him, obviously not sure what to do, so Connor sighed, closed his eyes, and counted to three just to draw up enough nerve to do what was apparently necessary.  When he opened his eyes, he slowly closed the distance between them, though he still looked like he might bolt at any second.

He was going to TRY not to hold any prejudices in this one.  Trying didn't mean he'd manage it just like that, but at least he was making the attempt.  If he could manage it, then he hoped he could make a decision.  If he couldn't make himself even a minute amount more comfortable with it, then he was going to tell Val not to do it anymore.  It was as simple as that.  Being torn on the issue wasn't going to be his permanent state of mind.

"I don't really know what I'm supposed to do," he pointed out, since he only had the times Val had grabbed him and bit him for reference.  Those times, Val had completely invaded his space, and he'd ended up grabbing onto the vampire like an anchor, so he slowly, obviously uncomfortably, grabbed the vampire's arm with his left hand.  His right arm when around the man's shoulders, which wasn't his favorite part, and he tilted his head to the side to offer up easily access for the vampire.  His heart was hammering worse than usual, probably because of the nerves associated with doing it willingly, but he was otherwise silent right up until he felt the slightest movement out of Val.

"Just don't drop me or anything."  Not that he really thought Val would, but he had to get SOME sort of gripe in there, or he'd have felt like he was giving in FAR too easily. 

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