Only a Social Call

[Amaltheia Monarch]

She considered this and then looked back up at him, voicing her previous thoughts. "It must have taken a great deal of consideration before you decided to come. What is it like to ignore absolutely every single value that's been instilled in you?" She wasn't trying to be antagonistic, not really. She just wondered how it felt for someone else this time.

She settled back on the couch. "Can you sit, or must you loom like some dark depressing confused cloud?" Now she was taunting him, but not too much. There was even a hint of a smile at her lips, but it was gone as fast as it had come.

[Brennan Shardae]

Actually, he'd had to avoid thinking too much about what he was doing in order to come, and what she had to say really wasn't comforting.  He'd tried to tell himself that he was investigating a potential threat, or that it was in Avalon's best interest that he know who this strange woman was, or any number of things that involved knowledge being for the best, but Amaltheia made it so easy to make him doubt even himself.  She was right, in the end.  He'd dismissed everything he'd ever known just to come see her.  What had he been thinking?

He clenched his jaw at her way of offering him a place to sit, but he wasn't there to argue, at the very least.  He could sit and see what would be said before he had to leave.  "I can't stay long," he told her as he sat down deliberately in the recliner opposite the couch.  Even if he'd already messed up just by showing up, he could avoid being too inappropriate by sitting beside her on the couch.

[Amaltheia Monarch]

"I didn't ask you to," she said matter-of-factly, though with those large blinking eyes, it was obvious that again, she wasn't trying to be hateful. Sometimes the things people said confused her - she still had that Falcon attitude, that 'Why do I care what you're doing/thinking/saying and why are you explaining things to me I will never need to know?' sort of behaviour.

"You didn't answer my question," she pressed. She straightened her robe and watched him like, for lack of a better word, a hawk. She was still so intense, even with no fancy clothing or makeup, or even magic. The residue that had stained her eye when it left her body was all that remained of any power Aleya had.

[Brennan Shardae]

No, he hadn't answered her question, but that was mostly because he really didn't know what to say.  It was such a loaded question, just having to admit anything, and it was a very personal question even for someone he knew well to ask.  Having a relative stranger ask it was extremely inappropriate.  Of course, just his presence there was exactly that.  She didn't need to ask a question to make it so.

"It's...confusing.  I shouldn't be here, but I wanted to know..."  Know what?  Lots of things.  About her, her reasons for jumping, just her.  She was interesting, highly intriguing, and there was an element of the forbidden here that was both frightening and tantalizing.  He wanted to know more, and at the same time knew he really shouldn't.  That didn't mean he didn't want to, and that made it more confusing.  He didn't usually have a want that didn't coincide with Avalon's wants, but he somehow didn't think she wanted him to talk to this woman, and he couldn't help wanting to.  It wasn't like he wanted to leave Avalon for her, but he wanted to just know more about her.  It wasn't anything like his love for his wife and Tuuli Thea.

It was all entirely different.

[Amaltheia Monarch]

"What?" she prompted as he trailed off. She kept that intense gaze on him, unblinking as she tended to do. She was so harsh in her mannerisms without meaning to, so utterly desensitized and unfeeling.

And yet, there were times where you knew she was as fragile as blown glass.

"Want to know what?" She broke her gaze finally to look away at the clock, and then settled back on him, though the intensity had been replaced with emptiness. It was a good thing; her gaze tended to make one think they'd get a hole burned into them. Now that she'd sort of glossed it over, well, she looked almost.... normal. Human.

But not.

[Brennan Shardae]

Uncomfortable?  That was an understatement with her staring at him like that.  Even when she looked away and returned her gaze to him with that empty look, it wasn't right.  There was something very...unusual about her, and all he could attribute it to was that she was, or had been, a falcon.  Were they all like this?

"You," he answered abruptly, and he somewhat regretted it afterwards.  That was far too forward of him.  "I don't understand it, but I want to know more about you."

He stopped, not really sure what else to say, but one question had stood out to him, and after having dove through the window and nearly lost his OWN wings, he wanted to know.  She'd lost her wings.  If he had, how would he have reacted?  He'd have been useless to Avalon without them, his whole life would have been gone in an instant.  Would he have wanted to jump, just as Amaltheia had?  Was that the reason she had?  "Why did you jump?"

[Amaltheia Monarch]

She seemed confused by his question. "I don't understand," she said sharply. "Why would I not jump?" There was a harsh silence as she let the question hang in the air, and she might have been aiming to make him feel stupid, but since he didn't know the answer there, either, it probably didn't do much except confuse him more.

"Have you ever been to shm'Ahnmik?" she asked. She tilted her head. "Of course not," she wrapped up quickly, rolling her eyes. Now she felt stupid for asking that. "It's like... " she struggled to put it into words, and as she did so, she formed her hands like she was holding a ball, and began to flex her fingers as she tried to think of how to explain it.

Her head snapped up, and she knew. "Think of your mate; your Tuuli Thea. Think of your family. Think of your friends, siblings, your home, everything you've ever known. Everything you've ever loved."

When she was satisfied she had him in a happy place of thought, she pressed her hands together and looked pointedly at him. "Now kill them. That? That is what I feel every day. The memory never goes away. It never gets any easier. It's relentless, their magic. They made it so I was unable to forget, unable to shut it out."

She stared at him, expression blank, but eyes fully alive and angry.

"That answer your question good enough, little bird?"

[Brennan Shardae]

It was much like he'd assumed would have happened to him if he'd lost his wings, really.  They might have let him hang around just because he was married to Avalon, but he'd be totally useless and constantly reminded of everything he'd lost in that situation.  Would he want to jump?  Would that be enough to make life seem unworthy of living?

And would he really be so ironic as to jump off of a building?

He supposed he could see how it made sense that she'd want to fall to her death, but he didn't know if he'd want his last memory to be of falling instead of flying.  It just somehow seemed...wrong. 

"Do you regret that I stopped you?" he returned instead of answering her question, with just a little more force to his voice for her calling him 'little bird'.  He already broke plenty of rules, so why not be direct at this point?  He wanted to know if he could have lost his own wings for no reason.

[Amaltheia Monarch]

She made a noise that sounded like a laugh, but was biting and cold. "I do not regret something I did not do, little. Bird." she said, her voice clipping and hollow. She deliberately put emphasis on the last part, knowing that he raised his voice to her, in defiance, to HER. He would not be called little, not by this powerless, empty relic, a shell of magics long lost.

Amaltheia, however, knew better. She knew better than to let him speak to her in such a way, knew how to rattle his cage. She moved around the room, until she was directly in front of him, in front of his face, and bent down so that she could meet his eyes.

"The question is rather, do you regret stopping me?" she asked, voice barely a whisper. "Do you regret, now that you know that it was the only way to silence the pain?" She stepped back, voice raising to a normal tone again, and yet still as before, as it always was - cold.

"Or do you enjoy it?"

[Brennan Shardae]

His eyes narrowed at her insistence upon calling him that, but he recovered and schooled his expression into something more detached, falling back on the avian reserve he should have displayed the entire time.  He made it a point not to react to her invading his space, despite the fact that he didn't like it.

"I don't regret stopping you.  My intention was to save your life, or what remains of it, and I accomplished that.  I'm sorry if you dislike that I did it, but I don't enjoy or regret it," he told her, and he meant it.  It didn't make him happy to know she was suffering, but that he could stop her from doing something so destructive and final was fine with him.  Nothing could be done for her if she was dead, but there was always a chance, even if it was minute, as long as she was alive.

"Is there nothing you find worth living for?"

[Amaltheia Monarch]

Amaltheia just stared at him, and though her disbelief couldn't really be expressed through her non-expressive features at the moment, it was still there, in her mind. Was he truly this stupid? She couldn't seem to make him understand. She didn't know what else to say.

"This world suffocates me. I was most high, powerful and graceful, revered in my family above all others. I sat at the right hand of the Empress. I wielded a power so great and terrifying it could break your heart, and all this in a place so beautiful that if mortal eyes beheld it they would simply turn to dust." She paused, staring at Brennan now. She wanted to strike him, but she was so frail. It would do no good.

"And now it is gone; or if it isn't, I don't know where to find it. I have tried looking years in years passed, but I have found it fruitless and wasteful. It will benefit me nothing, give me no release. They made it so. They trapped me in this shell, in this misery, with these memories, so that I would never recover. Every day I wake up and it feels like the first time I awoke after my punishment so long ago."

She stared at him now, eyes bright with anger. It was a good thing she was bound tighter than a nun's panties, because if she'd had any ounce of power, Brennan would have been in danger. As it stood, she was simply a thin, 'mortal' girl.

"Is that reason enough for you, Alistair? Or should I go on?"

[Brennan Shardae]

He actually believed her when she spoke of her home, and knew he had no frame of reference for any such thing, but that didn't mean he was useless or 'inferior'.  He believed she'd been powerful, could see that she was still graceful, but the fact of the matter was that it was done.  There was nothing either of them could do about it.

"I understand that, or perhaps I don't, but I'm trying.  You're still doing exactly what they want, though.  It may seem like us mortals are too inferior for your attention, but how are those who caused you such sorrow worthy?"  Maybe it wouldn't make sense to her, or maybe he was just stupid to her problems, but he didn't see how dwelling on the issue would do anything other than cause her to suffer and them to win.  If someone had attacked him as such, he'd have fought simply out of spite.  Of course, if Avalon had thrust him away, then it may have been a different story, but he wouldn't give her a reason to.  He loved her, and he wanted to keep her safe.

[Amaltheia Monarch]

As fast as lightning, Theia hurled a glass in his general direction. "Your questions BORE me, little raven," she screamed. "You keep asking them, over and over again, and I cannot make you understand what this is LIKE. As I have said, EVERY DAY I wake up and I find out ALL OVER AGAIN that this is my reality now, THIS. This PRISON. ForEVER."

She tore at her hair for a moment and then looked at him strangely, head tilted at an awkward angle. "You would never know, never experience this pain so heavy unless someone took your life from you and then reminded you of it every second of every day. Should I go to your Tuuli Thea and tell her, then, of your designs? That you have tasted the lips of a grounded Falcon? How would she react? I know in my court well that things are not as open as they appear; I can only imagine your strict avian laws would frown greatly upon this."

She narrowed her eyes at him. It was plain to see that Amaltheia had taken the verbal gloves off.

[Brennan Shardae]

No, he obviously DIDN'T understand.  Trying to talk to her about it was apparently useless, since she'd had so much time to make up her mind what she thought about it.  He still thought she was dwelling too much on her past, and needed to try to move on, but that was probably hypocritical of him, since he couldn't honestly say he wouldn't brood if he lost it all.

He did try not to be too much of a hypocrite, too.

"Well, then I'm sorry I bore you.  Perhaps I'll just leave you to your enthralling television progr--"  That was as far as he got before he just STOPPED.  He simply shut up, stopped talking, and first stared at her disbelievingly, then narrowed his own eyes. 

"Do you think she'd believe you over me?  Would it really make you happier to do that to me?" he demanded, actually angry because she even made the threat.  It wasn't like he'd made any move to touch her, anyway.  She'd kissed him before he even had a chance to react.  Maybe he deserved to suffer for leaving her on this Earth, but he wasn't going to beg her not to tell.  He was far too proud for that, and it would take more abuse than she'd dished out to have him begging anything of her.  He could explain everything to Avalon.

[Amaltheia Monarch]

She looked confused. "I do not say these things to make myself happy. I would say them to make you understand. You cannot truly know this until you meet this, and to meet this point, you'd simply have to lose all you had. You cannot presume to know anything about me, or this situation, not until you are down here with me."

She shook her head. "I do nothing for my own pleasure, little bird. For my curiosity, for my advancement, or perhaps just for my own unexplainable logic. But none of it pleases me. And as for your Avalon? The fact that you even counter my statement with one so bold as you own tells me that you don't perhaps... believe that she will believe you."

She chose not to be spiteful but rather uncaring again, cold. Unfeeling. Unlike Brennan she had a trained repetoire when it came to showing your opponent that you didn't care. To have behaved any other way might have inflated his ego, and quite frankly, it didn't need to expand any, not this night or any other. Brennan was looking for logic, for reason in her actions. By telling him that she would have dimed him out simply to make him understand should have been enough alone to make his head spin around.