Violent Mood Swings

[Amaltheia Monarch]

Amaltheia had enough. She stood at the edge of the rail on the roof of the apartment building, pressed against it so hard that she was marking herself. She turned her head skyward, blonde stands whipping around her face and sighed. She had waited so very long, so very fucking long, and they had not come for her. Aeson, Alia, nobody. Her family had truly abandoned her, left her to rot in this shell.

She looked down at all of the people below on the streets, the cars and how they all hurried, like ants from so far high. Her back ached where her wings had been ripped from her body, even though this shell was different and mortal; she could feel it suffocating her, dying all around her.

She climbed up onto the ledge, shakily, but finding her balance after a moment. She closed her eyes and held her arms out.

Oh, to fly again.. Her whole chest ached in a way she had felt all her life. She had never known the joy and happiness that she had left at sh'Ahnmik. She would never feel it again, feel the rays of the sun touch her wings, or have her mother tug her blue and blonde hair, or dance for her Empress.

She felt the gentle lull of the wind, the hypnotic siren song.. It was intoxicating, like a drug that she could not resist. Amaltheia leaned forward and jumped, longing to feel just once more the rush of the breeze against her skin.

[Brennan Shardae]

Brennan did occasionally leave Avalon's well-being in the hands of the other guards, if only for himself to run the more important errands that the other guards just couldn't do or get a few minutes of true alone time.  This was a mixture of the two, since he'd already run his errand and was taking a bit of time in getting back, simply because it was a lovely day and he was enjoying the weather and warm air over the city.  The last thing he expected was to see some woman leap off of a building.

He thought quickly as he began his dive, at first thinking she was a jumper, then getting the distinct idea that she must be an avian and that she knew what she was doing.  She wasn't flying though, and he was only able to intercept her because of the angle and his more determined effort.  She was simply free-falling.  A mere raven wasn't going to be able to do anything for her, and he was afraid he'd fall as well if he shifted to his human form.  It was just too difficult to aim a fall well enough to do anything.  He needed wings.

He was hoping she wasn't a normal human, or there'd be some interesting new rumors running around the city, but he couldn't just let her fall.  So, he dove at her, and waited as long as he could before shifting to his demi-form, wrapping his arms around her to carry her along with him, and using his wings to not only propel them towards the building but ensure that he hit the window before she did.  He was doing his absolute best to shield her with his own body, though that meant he hit the floor amongst the glass with full force.  He rolled into it to avoid all of the momentum going into the landing, but he stilled hissed sharply due to pain.

The instant they stopped moving, Brennan released her, praying mentally that there was nobody inside the room with them.

[Amaltheia Monarch]

She was soundless, weightless, like a feather on the breeze. It was ecstasy, pure and complete, and she felt her heart lift for the first time in thousand of years as she free-fell, fingers stretched as far out as they could as though they were wings to soar upon.


As the glass exploded around her, Amaltheia was snapped back into reality. She felt warmth and a tightness around her waist, and the flutter of wings; then there was pain as she contacted against a cold wall, and as it gave to their weight she felt it slicing through her arms and face, despite what the Raven had done.

Amaltheia rose, bloody and in some amount of shock, but instead of gratitude for what had been done, she felt only the blackness of rage. From the depths she pulled Aleya close to her, shielding her memories of herself, trying to rationalize as the Raven's wings lay twisted before her. The image was... so clear in her mind, and she visually stopped and began again, changing gears.

"What have you done?" she demanded, her voice shrill, whispered dangerously as she dropped to her knees, her hands, trembling as they touched his face. "Oh, my little Raven, what have you done?" Her voice was so tangible in sadness that it could have broken a mortal's heart. With weight like that, it was obvious she was not a human - but what?

She backed away from him like a snake recoiling from a mongoose as he rose, the fear shifting into something else, something darker. She was Falcon, and she was bound, and she was powerless to this. Her hair cleared from her face with her rapid motions, revealing her left eye instead of hiding it as it had before, and that iris so stained with the cerulean and indigo shades, like a watercolour, suddenly betrayed much without any effort at all.

The voices rang up the stairwell as two guards rushed up the building to find out just what had come in through the window with such a racket, and Theia suddenly realized very much that she was in more trouble than she could compregend. She bowed her head, shoulders trembling as she willed her emotions inward. It didn't matter. She had saturated the very room with this wretchedness; she was drowning in it.

[Brennan Shardae]

Fortunately, he wasn't nearly empathic enough to really suffer as a result of her emotions swirling through the room, and he wasn't very good with auras.  He was an avian, and his people hid their emotions away.  In fact, that was exactly what he was doing right then, even though just the pain involved in pulling himself off the floor was incredible.  He didn't want to look at his wings, but he was going to have to.  It was being put off long enough for him to see to this woman, though.

Anything to postpone it.  He could feel the agony where they were, and he knew they couldn't be in good shape.  He didn't want to know, and she was a good distraction, especially since she obviously knew exactly what he was.  "I...saved you," he told her, looking rather shell-shocked himself and in obvious pain.  He hadn't expected anything like this in her reaction, and making eye contact just made him even more confused.  She sounded so sad, it made his heart ache, and she was obviously not human, but she couldn't be an avian.  He'd thought she was when he saw her initially, but she weighed too much for that to be the case.  Hearing her voice and seeing her eyes changed his mind again, though.

She wasn't avian.  She was a falcon.

"Are you alright?  You weren't badly hurt, were you?" he asked, avoiding the big question.  Why hadn't she flown?  Why had she jumped if she wasn't going to fly?  It made no sense.  And what was he going to tell the two guards that were rushing up to see what had made the sound?  They had a few minutes before those two figured out which key unlocked the door, he knew for a certainty, but not long.  He was focused on the falcon in front of him, confused as ever, but preferring to look at at her from where he sat in the mess of glass, blood and black feathers.  

[Amaltheia Monarch]

"But why?" she asked again, voice breaking. "Why, little Raven, why? Why, why, why couldn't you just let me fall, why couldn't you just let the ground open up and swallow me whole? Why couldn't you just let me fall?"

Tears were pouring from her eyes now, and her low, quiet tones had rapidly risen from her small form, kneeling on the floor in the corner. She could feel his pain, feel how he ignored it; it felt so familiar, the numbness of pushing the present to the back of the mind in order to complete the tasks at hand. How many times had Aleya done it; how many times had Amaltheia done it, for that matter?

The guards finally came through the doors as Theia started to scream, that black aura giving way to heat and anger and red. "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?" she screamed as she felt them lifting her up by her arms. She was crazed, rabid. It was apparent that she also did not appreciate being touched, as she moved like they burned her very skin.

"Don't TOUCH me! You have NO power over me!" she roared, pushing off of the wall and jerking free of their grasp. They were surprised not by her strength which was only of the average mortal, but moreso by her words, her tone, the way she rose her chin and spoke just... so.

Theia had nowhere to run from them, really, and so she moved behind Brennan, blood boiling, heart pounding so heavily she couldn't bear it a moment longer. Blood wrapped in veins around her arms, staining the white dress that she wore and painting the portrait of absolution - an angel, fallen and bloody. And now she was hiding behind the man with the black wings, silently inside pleading that he would save her again, that he wouldn't let them take her...

[Brennan Shardae]

Brennan had no answer for her pained questions, and so he just looked at her, his own sadness FOR her beginning to leak out in his expression almost as a response to the massive amounts of emotional energy she was flinging at him.  If he was going to attempt moving to help or comfort her, he never got the chance, though.

Not that he really would have had much luck, but the two guard rushed her the instant they entered the room, and his voice certainly couldn't be heard over her yelling.  He made the effort to pull himself to his feet, his wings broken and twisted behind him causing nearly enough pain to drop him right back to his knees in the glass, but he held himself about as straight as he could manage once she fled to a point behind him.  She was depending on him to protect her, and this was something he could do.

"Stop where you are," he ordered them both, wavering a little but staying put.  "She's no threat.  She fell from the roof and I pushed her through the window to keep her from dying in the fall."

There, simple enough, even if those two probably weren't going to be hugely inclined to do what he said when he could barely stand.  

[Amaltheia Monarch]

Once the guards had cleared the room, shutting the door behind them, Theia dropped to her knees again. Despite her hatred for the Raven for saving her life, she could not bear to look at his mangled wings. It made her nauseous almost, to think of that pain again. She shook her head, clearing the memories from ghosting across her visions, and moved slowly to him. It seems she had been causing a lot of trouble lately.

Pallid fingers of a mortal body brushed his face lightly again as she seemed half to try and comfort him, aware that her sadness was something a man or a woman could utterly drown in - and half because she had not allowed herself close to an Avian in so long. The duality of the touch gave her goosebumps, steadying her hand and causing her heart to beat faster all in the same gesture.

"I am so sorry, little Raven," she said, voice so soft, so very pained. "I wish you had just let me fly." An afterthought suddenly, a memory rushing back to her - she had been here before, in this situation, in a different place, in a different time. What had gotten her condemned so swiftly so much as acting on impulse, on desire?

She kissed him, swiftly, lightly, gently and at the same time forcefully. While the Avians were very reserved and private, she had seen little restraint on shm'Ahnmik, and she had never exersized it before, and then for thousands of years she had to learn patience and poise in the guise of a mortal... and now everything was just so... unbelievably.. fucked up.

Fingers brushed his dark hair aside and she pulled away suddenly, out of her daze, startled, by herself but also perhaps more with him. She looked very much like she didn't even recognize him, and then reality seemed to creep back in, and she rocked back to a sitting position, now with distance between them.

She could think of nothing to say.

[Brennan Shardae]

By the time the guards stepped out, probably to go find help, Avalon, or both, he'd dropped right back down to his knees, ignoring the glass that crunched around him.  He was going to end up passing out soon if something didn't happen to prevent it.  Anything to escape where he was would be perfect, as he wasn't even sitting their suffering his own physical agony.  Her voice was positively coated in it, and it made him hurt just to think about what could make her so sad, make her hurt so badly that she'd be willing to fall to her death to end it all.  He still couldn't have stood by and watched her fall, even hearing her now, but that pain and sadness she felt was nearly tangible.  If losing consciousness would save him from all of this, he'd take it.

He didn't have the opportunity, though.  He might have, even if that was any avian kiss she gave him.  Avians were very distanced and formal, and even when he kissed Avalon in private, it was nothing like the way she assaulted his mouth right then.  He thought it had to simply be a sensory overload and his brain getting overwhelmed, but he had to use a hand on her shoulder just to steady himself while they kissed, and she just as suddenly released him.  He wavered once more, but managed to remain somewhat seated on his knees simply as a result of willpower.  He really didn't know what to say either, though.

Changing the subject sounded good.  "They'll be back in a moment, so if you don't want them to touch you again, you may want to leave.  Please," he hesitated, as though he wasn't really sure if it was his place to even ask such a thing of her, but he pushed on.  "Please don't try to hurt yourself like that again.  You can...come talk to me if you have nobody else."

Really, he wasn't very good at those sorts of things and it was highly inappropriate for a young woman to call on a married man, but better that than she end up dead.

[Amaltheia Monarch]

Theia nodded, fingers curling into her palms so tightly she almost cut herself on her nails. She got up, watching him as she edged around the room, listening carefully. The noise was coming from up, not down - she could run down the stairs and they'd never catch her, not if they were so preoccupied.

Before she ran out the door, she turned back, eyes locking onto him as he willed himself to retain some sense of poise. "I will. I promise, little Raven," she whispered. She seemed to have two volumes, this one - quiet and LOUD. As she turned and fled down the stairs, she could hear voices - one distinctly feminine, and the others male.

A word caught her as she ducked into the first corner of the stairwell as the troupe flooded the hall - Alistair. Theia sank back into the dimly lit staircase and exhaled slowly. She sure had a penchant for getting into trouble these days. She fled from the building then, doing just as she had been instructed by the man whose name she had not gotten but whose title she was firmly sure of.

[Cassidy Clark]

Avalon had heard the crash; of course she had. The window had been open, as it often was, and hawks had sensitive hearing. Of course, even if she hadn't heard it she would have noticed when three more guards rushed into the room.

Honestly though, the worst thing that she knew of was that the head of her guard, Brennan, was gone. Still, he was nothing if not good at what he did, and just because he wasn't physically there didn't mean he hadn't made sure she was taken care of. Naturally she wasn't really that concerned. Her golden eyes flicked to Jeremy, who was in command at the moment. "Someone's going to check?"

"Yes, Shardae."

Avalon nodded. "Inform me when they find out what happened."

"Yes, Shadae."

She doubted it was an attack - or at least not one aimed at her or her mother or sister. If it was then it was a poor one, certainly. She didn't need to even worry about such a clumsy assault, the Flight had spoiled better plans then this....

It didn't take her long to hear, or at least hear some of it. A woman had fallen, Brennan had saved her. And hurt himself. Badly.

Avalon forced herself to hear the speaker out and then forced her emotions back. She was the heir; she was eternally calm. It didn't matter that this was her alistair whose wings had been crushed (Oh lords of the sky, please let him be all right other then that; let him be able to recover-) it... it was the same.

Calm. Yes, calm.

She forced her emotion back, distancing herself from the situation, and then looked back to the woman who had been informing her of the situation. "Very well, I want a doctor here. Now. Five minutes ago. Understood? I don't care how you do it; get them here. Now." It was as much emotion as she ever showed - more, even. The woman nodded and then turned into a crow and flew away, moving as quickly as she could.

Faster....

But there were also other thing that she had to do. Avalon looked at the other guard who had been in the room. "Is the room safe?"

The young man - he seemed almost a boy, he was so new, hesitated. Avalon's look turned fierce. This was her alistair in question, her mate. "I asked a question. Is the room safe?"

"Shardae, I...."

"Answer the question, Caleb," she said, voice forcibly calm and hard, fierce, at the same time.

"We didn't search it," he began rather helplessly before also pushing himself back into calm. "Forgive me, my lady. Lord Brennan said that it was safe. We didn't conduct a search ourselves, however, and quite frankly it didn't look like he had either."

She nodded. "Thank you. Do you have any reason to believe that it is dangerous?"

A pause as he considered. "No."

"All right," she said, and then she stood up. "Thank you. Jeremy, some of the flight are already with my mother and sister?" At the crow's confirmation Avalon was up and out of the room, going down the stairs, surrounded by guards who had followed and who had gone before.

She was still being smart, of course, and aware of her safety, but some days she wished she didn't have to be.... This was one of those days. She knew that Brennan would rather die then have something harm her, but she didn't want to sit up in her room like a lily-footed princess, unable even to walk by herself. As long as things seemed safe she wanted to go to him.

There were questions and answers and more directions and she wished she could run but she couldn't....

And then they were there.

She closed her eyes for a moment at the sight of him, then forced herself to open her eyes again and study him for a moment. He didn't look to be injured beyond his wings, but they.... Her golden eyes flew to the tips of his wings before anything else, and she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that he still had all his precious pinfeathers. He'd lost other feathers, of course, but those could grow back; if he'd lost any of his pinfeathers he wouldn't be able to fly.

Rendered flightless; what a horrible thought. Still, that hadn't happened....

She glanced over the rest of the wings, and it made her heart ache. For all that she didn't show emotion, that didn't mean she didn't feel it....

His feathers were dark and heavy in some places, matted with the blood that was dripping from their ends. There was blood smeared greasily across the broken shards of glass; blood staining the golden carpet underfoot. That was expected. More worrisome was the way that one of his wings was hanging limply, bending in the wrong places, the wrong way. More then once. He'd broken it in at least two places, but at least the bone wasn't sticking out. Also, at least he hadn't shifted away his wings to rid himself of the pain. That would have grounded him as surely as cutting his pinfeathers would have; it would have stripped him of his second form just the same....

There was nothing here but the wind; Avalon could see that and James had confirmed it. He'd gotten here before her, and a good thing - she probably wouldn't have waited for him. Brennan would have scolded her for that....

She forced back her emotion again; it wouldn't do anyone any good if she went hysterical.

Oh, she wished she could have helped him.... She couldn't have, though, and she wouldn't be able to. It was her job to stay safe, as much as she might not want to sometimes.... Her life was her peoples, that was how it was and how it always would be. It wasn't hers to give.

Touch was rare in the polite, distanced, formal avian society, but she didn't really care about that, not right now. She fell down to her knees next to him and reached over, cupping his face in her her hand. "Brennan.... There's a doctor, I called for a doctor - is there anything else I can do?" His wings were a crumpled mess of black feathers, oh....

[Brennan Shardae]

He nodded at the falcon as she promised to do as he asked, though he had no idea how such a thing would work.  He was alistair to the heir of the Tuuli Thea.  Perhaps the most improper thing he could do was be found spending large amounts of time with this other woman, but the lingering nuance of her sorrow was practically reverberating through the room like an echo of that last whispered promise.  

He could hear help rushing down to him, hear the different voices swirling around Avalon's and he actually hoped she wouldn't be coming into the room.  He didn't want to be a complete wreck in her presence, and it was true that he hadn't cleared the room.  Nobody had.  He'd crashed through the window and hadn't really been able to put to much focus into his surroundings, and the two members of the Flight who'd rushed in had grabbed the woman and then left when he'd ordered them away from her.  There had been no examination of the room, and for that very reason Avalon didn't belong in there.  For that reason alone, without his own pride getting in the way, she didn't belong here.

Fortunately, and this made him think better of James instantly, the sparrow had checked the room the instant he entered, ensuring its safety before Avalon entered.  Even kneeling there amidst the glass and his own blood, it was her safety that mattered.  It always would be.

He leaned his face ever so slightly into her hand and gave her a little smile for encouragement, but that was all before he extracted himself from her little touches.  Only at the moment did he finally dare a glance back at his wings, over shoulders that had much smaller cuts and gashes from the glass on them.  His face showed nothing as he examined the damage done, ignoring the pain still tearing through them, but it was different with Avalon here.  He had no room for weakness, and though he felt the flood of relief that came from seeing all of his pinfeathers intact, he would have had to accept the loss of his second form with grace and poise if that had been the case.  The only thing keeping him from shedding his wings already and fleeing the pain had been the fear that it would bring about the end of his capabilities for flight, and it was now clear to him that he'd done the right thing.  Fortunately, his other injuries were far less worthy of such concern, though he had plenty of bloodied cuts and bruises to show off, if he'd have been that sort of person.  

"Just be careful of the glass, Avalon.  A doctor can handle the rest," he assured her, giving her that little smile for reassurance again.  Whether or not it would do its job while it sat upon his pale, pained face, he didn't know, but he tried.  

[Cassidy Clark]

"Just be careful of the glass."

Careful, careful, it was always careful. "All right, Bre," she said softly, almost sadly. She was the perfect avian princess, that was simply who she was, but she got very tired of it sometimes. Tired of all the carefuls when she wanted to fly and when those around her, those she loved, got hurt.

The raven smiled a little at her, and it was more a brave look then anything. Still, it was for her. She sighed a little, then smiled in return; more in acknowledgement then anything else.

Still, he was all right - that was good - and she was with him - that was also good. She always liked being around him; if nothing else, there was the fact that he was her closest and oldest friend. Ever, forever. And it wasn't just that either, that was the point....

Avalon sighed a little and then, almost reluctantly, dropped her hand and looked out the ruined window. At this height there was a good, steady breeze that constantly blew, and it played with strands of her spun-gold hair as she looked out over the city, threads of air coiling around everything as though it was alive and was seeking attention and affection.

It was so hard, so complicated, being princess, almost queen, and being herself at once. Sometimes the two things almost seemed mutually exclusive, as though there was only enough room for the one, and it was always the Heir that won out in that case. Because, in the end, that was who she was. When everything was said and done, she was Shardae more then she was Avalon.

[Brennan Shardae]

Of course it was 'always careful'.  Brennan's entire life was devoted to Avalon, and he wasn't willing to risk her even cutting herself on a piece of glass if it wasn't absolutely necessary.  He especially didn't want a drop of her royal blood to fall on his behalf.  He felt bad that she was forced to shoulder such responsibility her entire life, but he had also spent his whole life learning to be hers.  He'd promised to help her with anything she had to do, and he would, but he could only protect her from the threats he knew about.  Her sadness and doubts were something he couldn't chase away, especially if she didn't mention them.

Fortunately, the doctor arrived and gave him something to focus on, starting with getting himself up and away from the glass, pulling a few pieces out of him where it had gotten embedded in a wound, and then trying to set his poor broken bones.  That wouldn't be easy, even with Avian Reserve drilled into him all his life.  Before the doctor even started, he knew better.  "James.  Please escort Shardae from the room," he told the sparrow, and only Avalon herself could really argue.  He really didn't think she'd want to be present for this, though.

[Cassidy Clark]

Avalon knew all of that - didn't make it less of a pain to deal with, more often then not. Still, she was who she was, and Brennan was who he was. Neither could be less or more, and that was something to be accepted and worked with. It was a good thing to accept and work with. Knowing who your people were meant that you knew better how to use them to best advantage, and that was part of being a leader.

Brennan was her alistair, yes, but he was also the Captain of the Royal Flight and the head of her personal guard. He was, once again, exactly who he was. No more, no less.

"James. Please escort Shardae from the room."

She could have fought the command, and she would have won unless her mother intervened - her mother was really the only one who had the authority to do that. But she didn't, instead agreeing wordlessly and walking back upstairs. She tried not to make his job more difficult, after all, because she knew who he was....

She was calm again, in control, poised and elegant.

She walked away.

Still, before she went - "Caleb, would you please come and get me again, if I am needed for any reason?"

The raven nodded, and Avalon acknowledged the response before vanishing again out the door.

[Brennan Shardae]

Brennan watched her go, and only after she was out the door would he allow the doctor to touch him.  The removal of the glass was perhaps the easiest, even if it wasn't comfortable, and the doctor handled that rather quickly, then cleaned and bandaged the worst of them.  The raven already felt like a mummy by the time that was over, and his wings hadn't even been touched.  He couldn't tell for sure if the doctor was really putting off the worst of it, but it seemed that way, since the less injured wing was tended to first.

"Would you prefer that everyone leave?" the man asked, and Brennan's pale face turned up to look at him.  Did he need to have everyone leave for this?  He knew that setting the bone was likely to hurt just as much as the breaking of it, and he wouldn't have the flurry of movement and the situation to distract him.  He could see that the doctor was offering him the option of saving face.

"No, it's fine.  Caleb, Jeremy, hold my arms, make sure I don't move," he ordered instead, and the two men stepped forward to do as he said immediately.  Then, Brennan nodded to the doctor and tightened his jaw.

For having such gentle hands on the raven's other injuries, there really wasn't much the poor doctor could do to prevent this from hurting, so he simply tried to set the bones quickly, though he still had to be careful.  He couldn't wait for the proper equipment because Brennan's body would have already begun to heal, and that little progress wouldn't be good for setting the bones properly.  They'd heal wrong.  The same went for if they were set wrong now, and so the entire situation probably hurt worse for the doctor's careful attention to details.  He had to be SURE that they were set properly.  He wasn't risking the Tuuli Thea's fury with a botched job, nevermind the man before him

Brennan, to give credit where it's due, didn't make a sound.  Keeping his face entirely blank was practically impossible, but he made it his priority to just close his eyes and not react.  Easier said than done, but he had Caleb and Jeremy dealing with it when he flinched or jerked under the doctor's hands.  When it was through, and the doctor had set temporary splints to keep the bones in place for the time being, a pale and sweaty Brennan just sat where he was to regain his bearings.  

He'd have rathered crash through the window again.  It'd have been quicker, at least.

"Caleb?  You may go get her now, it's over."