Ah, the city. Unlike Albuquerque, New York had a certain dampness to the nighttime air that Danielle felt through to her bones, the wet, stagnating scent of asphault and motion clinging to her, suffocating her. She inhaled sharply, her senses disturbingly more alert than they had been in, well, years.
She'd gotten out of the coffee shop later than she'd expected, and as she drug her fingers across her jawline, she let out a heavy sigh and paused in her steps on the empty street. She rested her chin on her shoulder a second, letting her vanilla-blonde hair caress her pallid cheeks, the comforting smell of her shampoo infiltrating her nostrils, letting her think a moment. She began to reflect on a phonecall earlier from her cousin Sarah, who'd called Danielle to alert her as to some activity that had her name in it. It was quite possibly the worst conversation ever.
Sarah was never close to Danielle though the girls played together when they were younger, and after, well, the 'incident', Sarah'd been disowned by her family and made herself scarce. She kept in contact with Danielle for one reason or the other - perhaps she was merely reassuring herself, or her only other blood that would acknowledge her, that she was still 'sort of' human. Just, you know. Dead.
"I don't know what your problem is Danielle, but everyone is starting to hate you. I mean, killing to protect -- but for money? Goddess, Danielle. What were you thinking? Did you think at all? You made a lot of enemies, you know."
Danielle had remained silent for a moment, and then carefully answered the voice on the other end of the phone. "Sarah..I didn't kill anyone big or important. Let's not split hairs here, and please don't start about not thinking. I think every day I'm alive, and I do it too much and too hard. You are the last person to talk about not thinking." It had only escalated and ended with harsh words on Danielle's part, mainly the part where she told Sarah that she didn't deserve Dominique as a mother. That had illicted one loud click.
She started in her tracks again, realizing she'd been standing still, staring into nothing for a very long time. She wouldn't ever.. do that. She wasn't out of control, she just managed to walk a thin line of neutrality that seemed sometimes faint, almost nonexistant. Sometimes she had to draw her own line. Sure, it went a little crooked, but for the most part she had the right idea.
She wasn't far from home now, the tall building looming overhead. Her apartment wasn't the only one with a darkened window, which meant that either everyone else was still gone or that they had expired hours ago. She could only hope.
((OOC: First post. Little rusty. Have mercy. Lots and lots of mercy.))
Despite her senses being on full-alert, Ash disguised his aura well enough to appear entirely human, as he had a habit of doing around the Vidas, if only to play with them, and approached rather softly, as was his way. He'd always been quiet, but now he actually attempted it.
"It's nice to see you finally took up my invitation, Danni," he said affectionately, the girl before him being one of the Vidas he liked best. Dominique annoyed him, and usually refused to respect him. Given his battle record, practice bouts with her included, that annoyed him just a bit. He had a long coat on, one which hid a few random weapons, nothing incredible, as he didn't feel the need. His rapier was there, simply because he preferred it, and the jacket hid it.
She looked up, startled, at the man who'd seemingly come from the mist. Her eyes had been wide a moment, though she still had that glazed over look. Danielle could dance the disguise of being some blonde in the big city but there were some who could just scent her out.
"Do you think I'm a bad person?" she asked, skipping the warm words and handshake. "Sarah does. She doesn't say it, but she does." She furrowed her brow and shook her head, rubbing her face with her hands. She was tired. It was late.
She picked her steps up again, walking towards him with her arms each held across her chest, upwards hands at her left shoulder. She looked like she'd been wounded but she was just feeling very yucky at the moment, nothing more.
"By the way, what is it that sneaking up on us does for you? If I ever found something that made me as giddy as that seems to make you, I'd do it all the time. You know I'd like to see you sneak up on Dominique like that. I bet King Kong couldn't startle that woman." She smiled at him, though it was a weary one. "Nice to see you again."
Danielle, though from a reputable line, was considered rude by some of the older witches. It seemed, though, that Ash accepted her lack of 'social niceness', or at the very least, tolerated her across-the-table speech.
At first he thought she might embrace him, which had been a rather improper occurrance in his time, but this wasn't France, or his time. He'd adapted, and would have accepted it without becoming upset or insulted. He was a rather quick to adapt individual, and he'd rather come to like current customs, even if he was still a bit too reserved usually to partake of them.
He smiled at her softly, shaking his head. "No, I don't think you're a bad person. I think you've done what you have to, which is something the strong all have to learn," he said, sighing. He glanced up at the building where he knew she lived, then put a bit of effort into being consoling and slipped an arm around her shoulders to lead her inside.
"I rather like sneaking up on your line," he agreed, then continued with a more mischievous smile. "It reminds you that you aren't infallible, and I might add that Dominique has had quite a few scares from me, before. She just doesn't like admitting it. Shh, don't tell her I told."
She stiffened slightly at his touch, but didn't try to push him off. She told herself to relax, and began the steps to her apartment building alongside him, listening. His voice was always something, even if she had little else, it was always a strong memory.
This bad person question had irony to it because as soon as she left New York she had gone to Germany to track down a few freshly turned for families who offered up thousands of Euros to see that their undead kin be put to "rest" before they had a chance to hit the tabloids, or the streets, for that matter. The bad things Sarah accused her of were nothing compared to what she went on to accomplish. Of course, bad was all about perspective.
"Sorry," she said, though she wasn't sure what she was apologizing for. She just felt it was necesarry. "I'm having one of those days where it really doesn't matter what I do, it just keeps.. meh. I guess you've had your share of those?"
She reached out to press in the code that was required to get inside the building, and idly wondered if he was intending to come in for a while. She'd just gotten there, but it was obvious that she'd been ready to leave again. She didn't want to so freely admit that it was so easy for her to pick up and run when shit didn't work instantly. She always felt guilty for that when she spoke to Ash, like she hadn't really been through anything bad yet.
No, she hadn't been through anything near what Ash himself had endured, even if you only counted his mortal life, but he by no means made any judgments on her life and situation. She was having a rough time, and he by no means wished to see that, or make her feel weak. She needed to recognize her strength and do what she had to, not worry that she was weak.
"No need to apologize, cherie," he said, letting her put in the code for entrance, and not sure if he was going in. If she invited him, he probably would, if only for a short time, as he obviously needed someone. "Of course I've had those days, we all do. Sometimes those 'days' last weeks," he added, dry humor pulling through.
He was aware that she was ready to bolt, and he wasn't fond of that idea, if only because he could help her if she stayed in his 'territory'. "You know you're always welcome at the Hollow, non?" he asked, looking at her seriously. He had rooms he could offer, safe haven.
She smiled slightly, slipped from his grasp to hold the door open for him. "I know, it's just a little hard sometimes. I'm becoming obsessively antisocial. I had to get out tonight, though. Just to be around humans for a while. I'm starting to really have some disturbing thoughts.."
She began to walk to the elevator - she lived on the 16th floor, and there was no way she was going to hike the stairs this late. It was a place she exercised from time to time, but not exactly good measure to drag a social caller up a dozen flights of stairs.
"So," she said, changing the subject - in an obvious fashion - "what've you been up to? I've not heard from you in a while. Anything new and exciting? I mean, this place seems a little more active than New Mexico." She didn't really hate Albuquerque all that much, but she'd just overstayed her welcome. She sort of enjoyed the 'nothing ever happens here' atmosphere, except in the case that when it appears nothing is ever happening, there is, in fact, shit happening. It's just not things the general public is tuned in to.
He nodded as he stepped through the door, understanding the need to be around others. It was good for him that he owned the Hollow, as he was always interacting with others, and being reminded as to why he bothered. It was nice, but it also helped him understand what Dani was saying. He'd spent many years away from people before, and it was easy to forget.
"Well, I don't get called out to New Mexico often, so I didn't drop by passing through," he said, smiling at her in a way that said 'but you already knew that'. "New York is far more active, being the biggest city around. And with a rather large vampiric crowd. They keep me quite busy."
The last was said in a neutral fashion, as he did attempt to keep a rather neutral opinion of vampires on the whole. He had quite a few vampiric patrons, and he treated them like the others for the most part, despite his tendency, especially in the past, to hunt or join other witches on a vampire hunt.
She snorted and pushed open the door of her apartment, holding it open for him. She was a door opening kind of person. It was a spacious apartment, though some of that may have been attributed to the fact that most of her things were still carefully packed away in the spare bedroom. She always insisted on a two bedroom with two full bathrooms. She just needed the extra space for.. whatever.
The interior of the apartment was a light shade of creme, with fuzzy carpet and a tan-coloured couch against the back wall. The living room itself didn't have a window; however, the small dining room next to the kitchen was placed against the backdrop of the city, with a sliding glass door that led to a small, untrustworthy-looking balconey. She'd jumped up and down on it and it hadn't broken, but she'd been tempted to try and spot weld parts of it juuuust in case.
There was a small end table on which a laptop sat, and no television, just a CD player on the floor with a few cases laying next to it. She walked inside and held her arms open. "This is it. I know, what a mess." She was obsessive compulsive about being neat with her home - a trait taken from her mother Celeste, she gathered.
Quickly she hustled to the kitchen, opening a cabinet and pulling out a glass. "So how is business?" she inquired. She left the bit about the vampires alone - they just had different viewpoints. Well, they did at the moment. There were a few parts about her stay in New Mexico that she felt she'd just be better off skipping at the moment. If he'd really wanted to know, he was a resourceful man and could dig himself.
He looked around her apartment with mild interest, having never seen the sort of place that she would personally make a home in. He'd seen her mother's home and her aunt's home, but never hers. He was pleased. It was comfortable, cozy, and clean, despite her comment about it being a mess. Of course, he personally preferred a place with a less modern look, but that came from his mortal life, and he'd gotten used to modern architecture. "Nonsense, it's not a mess," he said idly, still looking around, then focusing on her with a shrug of his shoulders.
"Business is as usual. Plenty of people coming in and out, a few problems swiftly taken care of, and relative peace. I keep things as calm as I possibly can."
"As calm as you possibly can?" she asked, cracking a small smile. She walked 'round the counter, glass in hand, and to the couch to sit down. She set the glass of water carefully on the end table, next to a small silver picture frame that housed a black and white photo of she and Marcus when she was a young girl. She had her arms wrapped around his neck and they were both all smiles at the camera. It had been the only memory of him that was NOT destroyed when Celeste decided to purge the house. Vida women were.. illogical.
"So does that mean no sword fights, lighting things on fire, or random people going through wooden objects? I can say that has a certain.. appeal to it." She was beginning to warm up, as Sarah's comments visably began to slide away from her mind. Grey eyes were attentive now, interested as opposed to distant.
"Indeed," he said with a nod, keeping his expression serious despite the humor found in his words. "I try to avoid fires and people flying through wooden objects, as I'm not too interested in harm coming to my property. Swordfights, however..." He moved his coat enough to reveal his sheathed rapier, smiling ever so slightly.
"I'm always up for some swordplay, even if I haven't found someone worthy of the effort for quite some time," he remarked, sighing almost sadly. It was a lost art, it seemed.
"Ngh," she 'said', more of a noise really. "I never got the hang of it. I'm too impatient. But please, try not to put holes in anything," she said, picking at him.
She stood again, restless it seemed. She hadn't seen Ash in a long time. This was one hell of a timing issue - every time she thought she was going to explode, he was there to diffuse her timer. Friend of the family wasn't a term he deserved, he was more close to her heart.
"I always seem to bump into you just when I think there's nobody else in the world who could possibly comprehend what I'm doing, you know that? I'm sorry to be a bit sappy, but it's true. I don't know that you hear that enough." She was an expert on shit you didn't hear enough, like, "Hi, this is your mom, just making sure you're, you know. Alive."
She returned the half-empty glass of water from the table to her hands, taking another swill. Talking into glass was her specialty; just better this than a bar where the things she said often got her into things involving fire and wood, as referenced before.
The slight smile grew as she poked fun at him, Dani being one of the few people who both didn't mind teasing him, and could get away with it. He obviously didn't mind, as she'd quickly become his favorite Vida, but he found it interesting, to say the least.
"I don't hear it ever, ma petite belle, but it's nice of you to say. Fancy coincidence, non?" Of course, it wasn't quite a coincidence, but he left that out, not bothering to confirm or deny what she'd already begun to think.
((Sorry it's a bit awkward or something....am getting sick, and not able to concentrate so well.))
"Hm, well." She leaned against the counter, back to him for a moment. "I'm not in the business of coincidence anymore, despite it being the only word used to describe such a situation, so I can chalk this up to something leading up to something. I've been trying to piece it together for the last few days, but nothing's coming."
She turned back to him. "Any idea why? No price on my head just yet, is there?" Funny she would say that, if she knew what her future held. Somewhere in a dark corner of her mind, she did. But then again, people always knew - it was whether or not they admitted it.
((S'okay.. I'm like.. half asleep right now.))
"Don't be ridiculous, Dani," he said, shaking his head and sounding far less American than he usually managed, though he did happen to manage fairly well normally. "If there was a price on your head, that person would already be dead. You should know that by now."
And he had no qualms about taking care of such things. He'd lost so many people in his lifetime, he wasn't going to risk losing anyone else prematurely. "And if you think there ever is a hit out on you, I want you at the Hollow, immediately."
Her brows perked. "That's a heavy statement. I might just run in with a mob behind me weilding pitchforks and flaming sticks, you know. I have a talent for attracting a crowd when I least want it."
She did stuff that offer away for later use, though. She needed a place she could call 'base' that wasn't a new apartment in a new city in a new state/country.
"What would I do without you?"
"This is hardly the Middle Ages, and you are not Frankenstein," he said with a roll of his eyes, then smirked. "And Mary Shelley would have thought you were an interesting person even though she kept you out of that book, while her husband would have thought you were insane. He wanted to sleep with me, but then, I'm not as blunt as an ox, so he never knew I was out of the ordinary. And Byron would have been a bit peeved at being replaced."
He had no problem tossing all of this out at her, and continued as though it was nothing important. Just a tangent, nothing more. "And without me, you'd be driving some psychiatrist insane, or killing something, right now."
"You're absolutely right, there," she said, voice dull and humourless. She probably would be killing something right then.. she was sure she would have gone to her apartment, walked around, had a cigarette, and then gotten restless and gone somewhere to do bad things in the solace of the dark, where nobody could see.
She wondered if she could develop new powers based on her allignment - like Star Wars. Lightside points equalled certain abilities and Darkside points fell under certain.. more questionable powers. Like Force Lightning. She grinned at the thought of it - the lightning, that is - and managed to look a complete fool, standing in her kitchen grinning at a private thought.
She shook herself of it. "Well, Ash, what now? I can't just sit in this apartment. I was only coming home for a brief interval before I probably would have - no, most definitely would have - been back out on my merry way." She smiled again, this time something of a genuine grin and very much not as sinister as before.
If Ash could have heard her thoughts on alignment, he'd have probably been torn between laughing out loud and being concerned, but he ended up settling for a curious look at that little smile she showed at her own thoughts. "I know I'm right, I've been around you since you were born," he remarked casually, as though he didn't look deceptively young, around her age.
"What now? That depends entirely upon what you had planned, ma petite. I could always accompany you somewhere. We spend time together so rarely," he pointed out with a small shrug, though he was of course willing to let her be if that was what she wanted. He just had a feeling she could use the company.
She walked to the door, sweeping up a black duster, thin in material, just enough to hold in some warmth, and shrugged it on. "Let's go for a walk, then." She paused, reaching down and patting at her calves once, thighs once, and then gingerly reached 'round to her back. Seemingly satisfied that her weapons (of course) were in place, she waited at the door.
"What is there to do in this city, anyways?" she asked, pushing away some vanilla-blonde hair. "Also, anything I should know? I haven't had time to hit the books or ask around. Been too busy with, er, business."
He stood up gracefully to follow her, already aware that his own weapons were in place, and stopped to smile at her and brush some hair out of her face. He was good at those subtle little movements, full of meaning while at the same time brushed off as nothing. "Just trust me, chere. Most won't attack us, and those who will you'll know are enemies without my warning you ahead of time."
He had a reputation, and it wasn't one that most Nyeusi brushed off. He'd have vampires, older ones, assume he wasn't a threat, and that usually ended in him correcting them, but he otherwise didn't tend to find trouble when he went out. "A walk sounds quite nice. Anywhere you'd like to go? There are so many places."
"Heh," she said. "That's all the reassurance I need." She smiled at him as he fixed her hair, and started out the door, walking in step and adjacent to him, falling neither behind or moving ahead.
"Tell me.. how long have you known people in the Vida line? I'm interested to know if there was something that happened to Dominique that made her the way she is now." The woman was ageless - she had to be in her late thirties, if not mid-fourties, and yet, somehow, she looked timeless - like she was carved of glass and ice. Dominique could pass for Danielle's older sister if they stood side by side.
She was fishing for information for both personal use and psycological analyzing to be done later with a pack of cigarettes and a quiet balcony. "I mean.. my mother, Celeste. She's.." How did you say that in your opinion you could wipe the floor with your own mother? Without outright saying it, of course. "I'm positive I could best her because she either will not or cannot seem to grasp the reality of kill or be killed. That woman should have been from a different bloodline."
He smiled at her questions, even if not all of them were in the form of questions. She tended to do that, as well as ask questions he really shouldn't answer. Sometimes he did anyway, sometimes he didn't. "I have known the Vida witches since I came to the New World," he said, which really didn't tell her too much, just that he'd met up with them in America. He'd never told her when he personally came to America.
"And there's something you must understand, Dani. Some people are just not born with the instincts required to be a killer, a fighter. Your mother is one of those people. Dominique? She has the instincts of a predator, and she's been using them all her life. That affects a person, and not usually for the better." He hesitated at this point, as though looking for the right words, then tilted his head to the side somewhat and gave her a small, almost sad smile. "Sometimes, mon coeur, it is not being bested that is the tragedy."
She eyed him as they walked, silent as he spoke. She wondered how she'd come to have so much darkness in her heart. She couldn't remember a time where there wasn't a snide remark at her lips or a hand twitching to draw down. She looked straight ahead again, folding her arms like a spoilt child, and walked with a frown as she sat on what he'd said for a few moments.
((*Is getting such Luke/Yoda images, especially with all this 'dark side' talk.* :P That, or Highlander and Ramirez, with Morf as the Kurgan ^.^;;; ))
He had to grin and shake his head, aware that he'd just drawn out the petulant child in her. His own had died long ago, probably with his cousin and parents, but he didn't so much mind hers. Afterall, he was simply happy she still had it. "Come, cheer up, you can hardly expect a direct answer all the time. Especially when you don't actually ask your questions," he teased, slipping and arm around her to walk with her.
((LOL))
She shrugged. "I dunno," she said, hands thrusting into the pockets of her duster. "Maybe I'm just ready for a break. Ready to play human for a few months. Pretend none of this is happening. Family is all gone, I dropped out of school to do something stupid like follow an acting career, ended up living in X town with X job, doing X all the time. Not killing. Not maiming. Just being.. stupid and happy with it," she finished.
She wouldn't, though. Be happy, that is. She didn't know what would make her happy anymore. She needed help of a psychological kind for the things she'd done - to others and to herself. At the end of the day as long as she was standing it was all she needed, but it was starting to become 'not enough'. When her only release became not enough, she began to search for bigger and harder things to take on.
Personally, he wanted to suggest a boyfriend for her. In his experience with mortals, especially modern mortals, a partner, even if only temporary, was a good thing. But then, how could he of all people suggest such a thing? He hadn't had a partner of that sort in over a century, and he didn't intend to. He couldn't endure watching a wife die, whether slowly of old age as he remained the same, or of unnatural causes at a young age, he couldn't handle it. Not again. And so he didn't get into relationships, and only rarely indulged the temptation for a fling. He was hardly the one to tell Dani she should try out a fling or relationship.
"A break is good, but you and I both know you'll never truly be happy playing human. I can provide a more normal job for you if you find the need to try it out, with a less normal crowd to keep you on your toes. I find it rather....interesting."
She sighed, leaning into him. She was glad he'd popped up.. she hoped she hadn't been leaving a trail of 'angry Vida' wherever she went, though. She was trying not to do that - control was limited as of late. With none of her family around and never having completed a lot of her 'finishing' when it came to learning patience and endurance, Danielle exploded big, made pretty lights, and burned out fast and hard.
"You're right. I don't know what's going to make me happy. I don't think anything is. I'm trying to go with complacent right now. It's working - so far.I'd like to take you up on your offer sometime. When I'm.. you know. Not quite so angsty-ragey-boom-boom." It was a pretty adequate description of herself. Upset, angry, kaboom.
Maybe she didn't hate Dominique for being so cold. Maybe she just envied the hell out of her for being able to do it. It was a strange goal, to strive to be emotionless, but one she'd seen over and over again in her family.
He smiled and nodded at her description of herself, quite agreeing with its accuracy. "You do what you have to, chere. But I would honestly prefer if you came to me when you were feeling the most 'angsty-ragey-boom-boom'." It sounded far more amusing out of his mouth, that he knew, but he pretended he didn't notice.
"It's no coincidence that you calm around me, ma petite, and it may be in your best interest to pay me visits when you're feeling rather....destructive, non?" he asked, looking at her appraisingly.
Danielle stopped abruptly in her steps, and the man may very well have walked right passed her - met only with blinking grey eyes. They were a descriptive shade at this point, but not like dove grey, or 'sky during snow' grey. No, they were 'frozen lake' grey. And narrowed.
"What do you mean?" The panic button was starting to go off.
"I mean, I seem to have a rather calming effect on you, correct?" he asked, stopping with her without thinking about it, and speaking as though what he was saying was nothing to be concerned with. He didn't touch her red aura, not wanting to have her paranoid around him. "Or at least, I usually do. You're not very calm now, though. Relax, ma petite, you're overreacting."
She was, and he felt a need to point it out to her, if only so that she might realize and calm herself. It's something she needed to learn.
Danielle didn't think she was overreacting at all. Her mind started to work faster and faster - 'til she'd gone into a mental frenzy about who to trust and who to play ball with. Her eyes flitted back and forth quickly, and she took a step back for a moment, hands at her sides, fingers spread as she flexed the muscles in them.
It would become apparent now to Ash if it had not already by the way her entire stance had shifted that she was, indeed, caught up in a vicious cycle with herself - it stemmed from the lack of control. It was as though she relied more on base instincts instead of her head from time to time, and right now she was fighting to keep herself in place.
She tried to take a deep breath. Think logically. Nothing was working. She took another step back and met with the glass of a store window, a dull thud shaking her spine. What was she about to do?
Ash's eyes narrowed, quite aware of what was going on with her. He wanted to reach out and calm her red aura, to help her regain control, and finally did. He barely touched it, and he gave no indication as to what he was doing outwardly, nothing for her to interpret as a threat.
"Dani, think about it. Have I ever done anything to you or your kin to make you even think that I was a threat to you?" he asked, knowing the answer was 'no'. "I've hunted alongside you and your family, done everything I could to help all of you whenever you need it. Do you honestly fear me?"
Sweat had begun to bead at her brow, her vanilla-blonde hair lightly damp between the night air and her own nerves. She was trying to remain focused on his voice, and slowly came back to herself - though it was partially from his doing.
"No, Ash, no, of course not." She started to laugh, and covered her face. Pretty soon, she was doubled over, and the laughter had gotten muddled, changing from humour to desperation. Finally, Danielle ended up in a crouch, stooped over, crying her eyes out.
She felt it all bubbling up near the surface again, that blind.. emotion. It was rage, pain, sadness, lust, love, happiness.. everyting that she was told she was not allowed to feel. She was -this- close to losing it all, and found herself fighting the urge to let a single terrific scream rip through her throat.
Now she wasn't even aware of Ash's presence on the street with her - it was just Danielle Vida, alone, in a dark part of the world, having her own little breakdown. Nobody to see, nobody to find out. Nobody to tell.
Normally, what to do in a situation like this, where a woman was obviously in need of comfort, which went against his preference for little to no physical contact, but this time he didn't hesitate before dropping to his knees to wrap her up in his arms. He dampened her red aura some, making the emotions more manageable without stuffing them back down, which wasn't what she needed.
He talked softly to her in French, not even thinking for the moment that she wouldn't be able to understand it, and hoping she'd take comfort just from the sounds. The last thing he wanted was for her to be upset, not when she needed to be strong for herself. But then, that was why he was here; she was upset and spiralling downward, and he needed to be the buffer so she didn't crash and burn. And he didn't mind.
She squeezed him so hard that, from her blood to a normal mortal, she might've broken bones. But Ash wasn't normal, and despite her intensity right now, she probably wouldn't have even made him uncomfortable with her iron grip.
"I have been going over this day in and day out and trying to find where exactly everything stopped being fine. Where everything changed and went from decently bad to just plain out of control, and I can't find a point to define. It wasn't Marcus, it wasn't Sarah. It's just something that HAPPENED when I turned seventeen, like suddenly all the precariously balanced normalcy within the killing and fighting just cracked. It seems like it's just...fated. Like it doesn't matter what I do, I always come back to this one spot in my life, in my mind, where I just can't..." she was babbling now, unsure of where she was going with that.
She suddenly let go of Ash and began wiping her face, as though 'other, normal Danielle' was back in control. "Oh Goddess, I've just gone and broken like a dozen rules," she said dryly, her typical inappropriate sarcasm bleeding through her strained voice.
He held her as she cried and started talking, not flinching in the slightest when she squeezed so tightly, and listening patiently as she let her troubles go for a short time. He wanted her to let it out, to stop bottling it all up. He was a good choice for such a thing, since she couldn't really hurt him. If he knew that she was upset, he wasn't likely to take something personal if she verbally attacked him, and he could handle any physical attacks she decided to throw at him if she felt a need for violence. Better him than someone else.
Then, just as suddenly, she let go of him and started drying her tears, and he didn't attempt to stop himself from reaching forward and wiping gently at her cheeks with the soft sleeve of the shirt he wore beneath his coat. "You've done no such thing. I don't know what you're talking about, breaking rules."
"Business first, life later," she said bitterly, referring to her family. She brushed herself off quickly. "I'm sorry you had to see that. Sometimes it just bubbles over."
She literally shook her head, shook away the dark cloud that wrapped 'round her mind. For the time being, anyways. "I think I'm going to have to bill Dominique for my therapy some day." There was a small laugh.
"Come on, Ash. Why don't we go get some drinks or something." She didn't mean alcohol - wouldn't have mattered anyways. She had to drink so much to get drunk, if she could actually GET drunk (hadn't ever drank that much to find out) that it'd be a waste of money. She meant a soda and a chair.
"Do you actually believe that business should come before life?" he asked, hoping that they hadn't drummed that into her enough. He'd never believed it, having learned towards the end of his mortal life that all life was too precious to let business overwhelm it. "And I don't mind seeing it, Dani. Anytime you need to break down, I don't mind."
In fact, he was just happy she trusted him enough to have broken down in front of him, and he'd have let her do far more than cry on his shoulder if she'd needed it. "That sounds like a good idea," he agreed, though he didn't specify whether he meant billing Dominique or going to get something to drink. Perhaps both. "Let's go."
"No, I don't," she said, a tired sigh caught in her words. "I was just being bitter." She paused, wondering about something for a moment, and then looked back at him.
"If someone wanted to find out everything about you, even though you'd covered your tracks..How long do you think it would take?" She didn't mean local authorities or the intraweb, she meant people like her; like him. Basically, she was trying to gauge how long she had 'til rumours would pop up about her little excursions overseas; and how long then 'til the truth would be dug out of them. How long she had to try and explain herself to her friend before someone else explained it for her with crime scene photographs.
She walked slowly, contemplatively, looking at the ground with her arms crossed. "I really want tea.. any good caf?s here that actually have tea?"
She did trust Ash. A lot. But she also trusted that bad things get punished eventually. She just wasn't sure exactly where his allignment was, and how much she was going to be able to divulge before he'd say, "Okay, you're crazy, you need help."
He nodded and slipped an arm around her comfortingly at her admission, though he hesitated in speaking when she asked how long it would take for someone to search 'him' out. He had a feeling it wasn't him she was talking about.
"In a hypothetical situation where someone wished to track me down and find out everything they could about me...it would take at least a year and I'd find out and confront them before they reached me," he said bluntly. "Unless it was a vampire. That could take a matter of a week to a few months, depending on age and connections and whether they knew where to start or not."
He stopped walking and looked at her, the expression on his face telling her quite plainly that he knew she wasn't asking for no reason. "But then, you weren't referring to me, were you? Knowing you, unless it was a vampire or a skilled hunter or the like, it would take quite some time, unless they had a decent lead. Care to elaborate?"
Her question about the tea wasn't one he answered verbally, instead using the arm around her to pull her along. He knew just the place.
"Not really. Let's just say that later you can relate our little talks to how I went bad," she said, a furrowed brow. She meant her telling him all the horrible things she thought, not that he actually drove her to make with the stabbing and kicking.
"But later, when I'm gone.. any rumor that you might hear, barring my death? It's probably going to be true." Danielle was thankful she didn't have some sort of Watcher to follow her and document all of her dealings, because she'd have to kill the little sprite before he published any of the works involving 'Danielle blows up a small building because it was easier than tracking someone for a few more days'.
She was asking because she wondered when someone was finally going to figure out she was behind all of it. Random events all over the world for sport, and business, and when they were going to put in the word that she was worth money to someone. She wondered who they'd send to do it, too. She looked at Ash out of the corner of her eye. She didn't see him as a contract killer, but then, he knew her better than anyone. She didn't think any monetary amount would push him into bringing her down, but she wondered on a moral standpoint how much she could really do before even the 'been there, seen that' life he'd led would fall short.
To be honest, he'd lived through quite a few wars, and those alone equaled out to a huge number of horrendous things, all of nightmare quality, and all that he'd gotten over with time. Not that he knew what she was thinking, though he wished she'd tell him.
"I'm not so interested in this 'later' concept. You'd think being immortal would have taught me patience," he remarked. It had, but not in a case like this. "What sort of rumors are these that I could hear?"
Danielle struggled with how to tell him that she was going to be making another trip back to Germany soon to finish up what she'd started three years ago. As they made it to the place he'd taken them and went inside, she sat down and rocked back in her chair. She needed to sit down for this.
"I have some journals and stuff I'll have to leave with you when I go for details," she said at first, trying to choose her words very carefully. She paused for a moment, not sure what to say next.
He hesitated, sensing the distress in her auras, and sighed, trying to figure out how to deal with this. She obviously didn't want to verbalize these details, but he didn't so much like the idea of her fleeing and letting him figure things out after she was too far away for him to help her.
"You know, Dani, I can listen quite well. I've listened to anything you needed to tell me for years now, and I could certainly do so again," he reminded her, then fell silent when a waitress came over to ask their order. Ash didn't want anything, but he looked to Dani for her order.
She sat up a little and smiled. No, it was better if he found out when she was far, far away. That way, when he exploded like a nuclear bomb, she wouldn't be close enough to catch any of it - at least, not for a few days.
"You know what? It's not a big deal. I'm feeling very mish-mash right now is all. Maybe I should do drugs, or something," she said jokingly. They both knew it'd take more than she was willing to spend to feel the effects of chemical substances. It was a waste of time. She didn't even bother with alcohol anymore.
"Can I have a diet Dr. Pepper and... ooh, I want a bagel and blueberry cream cheese." She didn't realize how hungry she was. "You know, Ash," she said, leaning on the table, her head on her folded arms, "You really are like my best friend. I mean.. my only friend, but still. The best one."
Again, Danielle was getting at something. She was usually blunt, and damn fine at it, but lately she'd had a hard time expressing herself to him because she really felt so schizophrenic she didn't want to be like, 'Wait, take it back, I didn't mean that, changed my mind'. She was really unstable with her thoughts and feelings. Well, most of them. The killing part was dandy.
Ash watched her curiously, aware that she was getting at something, and getting damn close to wanting to shake it out of her. It was then that he smiled somewhat, aware of the effect she'd had on him. He'd never had those sorts of urges before, though it only really happened with her. She was the one person who could frustrate him to his wit's end, though she hadn't seemed to ever find out just how crazy she made him sometime. And he didn't mind it in the least. It was exciting, a new challenge, and he really needed that.
"You're behaving rather strangely, even for you, Dani. Tell me what's going on, please?" he asked once the waitress was gone. She wasn't making enough sense, not acting like herself. He was starting to get really worried, and considering wisking her to the Hollow for at least a week, and probably more, depending on how much safe time she needed.
She laughed, and then ran her hand through her hair in a harsh manner. "I can't. I'll tell you later." She laughed again, as though she was giggling at a secret only she knew. Her cheeks coloured for a moment, and she dove into her Diet Dr. Pepper, sucking down half the glass through the straw. She didn't realize how thirsty she was. Bad Vida!
"I'll just.. don't worry about it." She shook her head and began eating her bagel, watching him with a strange smile. If he were to give her a quick once over, he'd see that she'd calmed down immensly, although there was an occasionaly flutter in the chest and stomach - she was nervous about something, but she was still managing to keep her cool. She giggled again and looked out the window.
Man, who gave her the LSD today, huh?
((@$&@#$%))