T U X E D O
"You look like a right cunt, mate," Remi said, turning his head to the side to spit a massive glob of phlegm into the bushes.
"It said 'costume required', ya fuckin' idiot," Kimber shot back. The pair of siblings stood outside of Kyle's home, where the small pack of wolves had gathered to pre-game before the yearly Halloween party that the guilds threw. They were still waiting on everyone else to finish getting ready, which had earned some razzing from the both of them. Remi in particular had called them all women, with exception of Kimber, who had been long since ready.
"And what in God's green fuck are you supposed to be then, eh?" her brother challenged, sliding the top of the ice chest he'd brought outside with him shut. Wouldn't want the beers to get warm just yet.
"A princess," she said, her eyes squinting in irritation at the fact that he couldn't tell. She held her hand up, pointing with one finger to the small tiara nested in her hair.
"What's all that shit on your face?" He gestured with the beer bottle in his hand. He'd had a line of them next to him on the rail of the deck, showing how much time he'd spent outside waiting on everyone. He was wary when she came to stand next to him, but he felt maybe it best to guard his jacobs in case she tried to knee him.
"It's
makeup," she growled. Instead of going for the groin, Kimber slapped the bottle out of his hand, which he
did not expect, and he yelled as he tried to catch it. He watched it as it fell over the side of the deck and landed in the grass about ten feet below, foaming aggressively and spilling out what was left. He looked back at her, mouth open.
"That was a full beer, you bitch!" he exclaimed. Despite the way he spoke, it was clear he wasn't really mad. Instead, he reached out and grabbed at a strand of her hair, which she'd curled. "I ought to rip a few handfuls out and make you look like that princess doll you had when you were little," he threatened with a grin. He let go as she shook him.
"You remember that thing?" she asked, unable to hide the surprise in her voice. "Oh, I was so mad when Bryn cut her hair. It was the nicest thing I'd ever had up until that point," she confessed, leaning on the rail next to him. She accidentally knocked two more of the empties off and jerked forward with a laugh. "Shit," she said. "Kyle's gonna think we're out here being bogan as fuck and throwing bottles to decorate the lawn."
"Course I remember that doll, I helped mum pick it out for you when we were at the store. What I'm
not sure about is how you found a dress that's so fuckin' similar. It's downright creepy Kim, I'm concerned for your mental state," he said, touching his chest lightly over his heart.
"Oh, fuck off with the head shrinking," she said, reaching into the mini cooler and pulling out the last two beers. She handed him one, gripping the cap of her own and twisting it off. They were not twist off caps, but - wolves. "And you'd be amazed what you can find on eBay. I just dunno how I got into a dress and heels
and did my own hair before either of those cunts was done and ready. And anyways, you're saying I'm overdressed, what the fuck are you supposed to be? Are those tearaways? You got on a pair of budgie smugglers under that tux?" she half-accused. "I really hope not, Rem, I don't want to see your garbage at all, at any point tonight, okay? I don't care how many shooters are on the table."
Remi straightened out, adjusting the collars of his tuxedo and straightening the bow tie. "How dare you, this is not a cheap party boy suit," he said, mocking offense in his tone. "I'm fuckin' James Bond."
Kimber, who had not been expecting James Bond, had just taken a large sip of beer, and began to laugh. The result was a geyser of beer sprayed directly on Remi, the tuxedo, and into his beard. She covered her mouth, eyes large as she stared at him, trying to muffle her laughter.
Thomas chose the second directly after this happened to slide the back door open and stick his head out. "Hey, we're ready to go. Kimber, lovely as always," he said, nodding to his friend. He looked at Remi for a moment, a brow raised. "Mate, you know you're supposed to drink the beer, not wear it, aye?"
"This would never happen to James Bond," Remi muttered, heading towards the door. "And you better watch out, missy," he warned, whispering to his sister as he followed her in. "I'm gonna get you back before this night is over." Her glance back over her shoulder told him that she dared him, and Remi sucked his teeth in response, giving her a little push and causing her to trip in her heels before regaining her grace.
"All right, children," Kyle said, holding his hand up to both of them as he
finally came down the stairs. "Jesus, you look like you're going to the prom," he said. "What the fuck are you two supposed to be?"
"We're gonna be doing this dance all fuckin' night," Remi said, looking at his sister with a defeated expression.
"I'll try not to spit on you the next time you tell someone you're James Bond," she assured him, giving his shoulder a pat.