Dawn hated hospitals. They always reminded her of... She didn't want to think about it. She shrank back against the wall as orderlies walked by, and stopped to ask the nurse on watch where Dez's room was. When she got her directions, she walked briskly, flip-flops making little noises against her feet as she hurried. She'd not gotten terribly dressed up, at least. Dark green Hollister polo shirt, white shorts, white flip-flops. She was regretting the shorts idea, anyways. She'd forgotten how cold hospitals were.
Gritting her teeth, she rounded the corner, and realized she was headed the right direction. She stopped at a soda machine, put in four quarters, and pressed the Mountain Dew button. She waited for a second, and about the time she thought it ate her change, two bottles dropped down. "Sweet!" she exclaimed, scooping them both up. She marched onward, holding the ugly flowers she'd bought a few minutes before and her two sodas, and finally found the right room.
She tapped on the door lightly and stuck her head in. "Knock knock," she called softly. Bright eyes examined the room, but she didn't want to just barge right in, so she stayed pretty much right where she was, hovering between the door and the hall. "You awake?" She was trying to be quiet.
It was smart of her to ask if he was awake, since he'd been in and out through the night and morning. Unfortunately, he'd had to get help from a nurse to get to the bathroom just a little while before Dawn showed up, so he wasn't getting back to sleep for awhile. That had woken him up, just with how much he'd hated it. He'd had her get him a set of crutches so he could suffer through doing it himself next time.
"Hey, yeah, I'm awake," he called back, turning his head to look at his new visitor, which was actually a pleasant surprise. He hadn't been expecting anyone until later in the day, and he definitely didn't expect Dawn, of all people. "Must be my lucky day, getting visits from pretty girls with flowers."
Not that the flowers really mattered all that much, but he understood the point. They'd make the room look less sterile and devoid of personality. In theory. He didn't think a few plants would really change the fact that the room was ridiculously lacking in any kind of character, though he'd noticed a little water stain on one of the ceiling panels. It gave him something to stare at while he couldn't sleep.
Dawn's fearful face visibly flushed with relief, and she breathed a little sigh to further that point. "I hate hospitals," she said as she came into the room more. She felt better, though, being with someone familiar, at least. "Hey Romeo," she said softly. She still didn't want to be loud - it was ungodly early. She'd gotten up at least two hours early so she could visit before school, which meant that everyone else had really been asleep when she'd made the drive over.
She put the flowers on the little table and then sat down next to him in the ungodly old chair, holding up one of the Mountain Dews. "The flowers are kind of ugly, so I figured they'd be manly enough for you," she said with a laugh. "Want a soda? I got two from the vending machine instead of one." She shrugged a little - it was no secret that Dawn was a lucky charm. "I don't even know if you're allowed to have this, but oh well."
She glanced around the depressing room, trying not to think about how much she was creeped out by it, and then looked back at Dez. "It's freakin' freezing in here. Do they do that on purpose? Were you mean to the nurse?" she asked, tone accusing.
He was actually thrilled to have her there, so he didn't care if she'd brought him flowers that made the whole room smell of garbage. He was just tired of sleeping and sitting in there alone thinking. Company was a huge improvement.
"I don't know if you noticed yet, my fair Juliet, but the ugly flowers have plenty of ugly company this morning," he told her, gesturing with the arm that was only a little bruised (but stuck with the IV, like the other arm wasn't beat up enough so they had to stick his good one with holes) towards his face. Besides the stitches over his eye, the puffy black eye and split lips he was sporting, his nose didn't exactly look broken, but he had a nice cut just above the bridge and what looked like road rash on the left side of his face. Why? Well, he'd smacked his face off the steering wheel, then had the luck to smack it off the window and the tree in quick succession. He'd been told he was lucky he didn't have brain damage or landed himself in a coma with that kind of abuse.
Lucky. Speaking of which, Lady Luck herself had dropped by, and she had Mountain Dew. He didn't know if he was allowed that or not, either, but he didn't care. He'd take it, and called her a goddess for the offer.
"Well, I pulled her away from her steamy romance novel to get her to help me to the bathroom. That could have done it," he told her, making a show of thinking back, the moving on. "Honestly, I've been in and out, and haven't talked much to the nurses, but I've done a lot of apologizing and been as nice as I could since I have to deal with them, so I don't think I did anything. Knowing my brother, he might have, though." If Sebastian had, Desiré really wouldn't have been all that surprised. Besides, he had a blanket, so if it wasn't enough, he was in trouble.
She frowned a little when he talked about ugly company, and leaned in to examine his face more closely, careful not to brush her hair against him. Woot for ponytails! It was a good thing she'd used that Herbal Essence crap this morning, because she smelled like Georgia peaches. That and, well, Dawn was a sixteen year old. She had more bottles of spray from Bath and Body Works than anyone except Darci, and that was a LOT. "Doesn't look so bad," she offered. "I'm sure you'll heal just fine. Besides, scars add character. And anyways, it could have been a lot worse. I'm really glad you're not a vegetable."
Dawn was pretty aware that he didn't know how hard it was for her to be in a hospital, so if she seemed more soft-spoken than usual, that's what it was chalked up to. Maybe he'd know one day, but not this one. She stood up on the mention of a blanket and went over to the counter, opening cabinets 'til she found an extra. "They always keep them in the same place," she said to herself, wrapping up in it and plunking back down in the chair.
"Maybe he did say something, but I'm sure they weren't moving fast enough for his liking." She offered a smile. Sebastian was okay; they weren't good friends or anything, but he'd never been mean to her. She'd talked to him a little more since the whole drama play thing started, and she'd found it sort of nice that he said stuff she didn't, or wouldn't.
"I did bring you something else, too, even if you hate me for it," she said. She dug around in her purse and found a small copy of Romeo and Juliet, and set it down on the bed next to him. It was paperback and well worn. "I got it for a nickel at a yard sale this weekend. Imagine that? What are the odds, right? Anyways, I almost brought you a comic to cover it in so people didn't think you were too much of a girl."
She leaned in like that, and he was suddenly glad that he didn't hold his breath. She smelled great, which was something he'd have noticed on probably any occasion, but it was a sharp contrast from everything else in the past day and a half or two days. She smelled of peaches.
"Me too," was pretty much all he could say about her being glad he wasn't a vegetable, since it was true, and he didn't want to talk about how it WAS worse. He didn't think she'd talked to Sebastian yet, and he didn't think that his parents would have sent much word to his school by this point. He was thinking his understudy was going to have to be picking up his lines, which wasn't going to be Dawn's preference. That was going to suck.
He was actually surprised by how much she liked Sebastian, considering how his brother tended to grate on the nerves of Desiré's friends. He loved his brother, but he knew that the younger Alys boy could definitely be a force to fear when he was in one of his moods. Dawn always seemed to have something nice to say, however, and even Sebastian didn't have too much to pick on her for. He was sure that the nurses were glad that Sebastian wasn't bedridden like Dez was.
"With most people, I'd say the odds were pretty slim, but you ARE Lady Luck or something," he teased her, though he actually looked interested when she pulled a copy of Romeo and Juliet out of her purse. He'd read it already, since he'd thought that was important before learning his lines, but he enjoyed the story enough to apply himself to the role, so it'd give him something to do. He wasn't so sure that he'd be getting back to class with enough time to really keep up, though. Not with the doctors' talk of surgery and all. "Thanks, but you might want to let Kevin and the professor know that I might not make it back to the play. My leg's pretty messed up, and they're talking surgery and other unpleasant things."
He didn't go into detail. He would if she asked, but he didn't just offer it.
Dawn sort of just froze when he mentioned surgery. No. No. Nonononononononono. Doctors don't know how to fix anything right. NO! She visibly paled while all sorts of thoughts rushed through her head, and she leaned back a little in the chair, wrapping the blanket tighter around herself. She suddenly felt light-headed and terribly cold. Her eyes stung a little, and she tried to ignore it as she quickly gulped down her soda to clear her brain.
"How... How bad?" she asked hesitantly. Did she want to know? She bit her lip. Right now she betrayed her age; Dawn didn't do upset well. She tried to bite it back, though, and bit on her lip while she waited for him to answer. Meanwhile, all her mind could do was protest the idea, and then scold herself for not being there. She was lucky, maybe if she'd been there she could have prevented it from happening. It was illogical, but it was Dawn.
Amazing, given his own situation, was the fact that her sudden, obvious distress worried him. He shouldn't have had any worry left to go around. Even so, he could see that she was upset, even if it hadn't shown right there in her voice and the way she asked. She was clutching that blanket around her like it was going to ward off a hell of a lot more than cold, and he mirrored her tactic of using the Mt. Dew to busy himself and keep him from having to answer.
It didn't give him long to stall, but enough time to think things over.
He still didn't want to just dump it all on her, even though she'd actually asked. He'd actually thought she wouldn't, in all honesty, but this was Dawn. He should have expected it, he hadn't, and now he had an interesting predicament to deal with.
"Um, well...it might all go fine with the surgery. I mean, I don't know if I'll be playing football anymore even if the surgery goes the way they want it to, but as long as I can walk, that'd be okay. They're just..." He hesitated, not really certain how to put it all without just saying it. "They're not really expecting it to do all that much. Hitting that tree really kicked my ass."
What? What is he saying? He can't really mean... But she'd been around him at least long enough to know some things, like his tone of voice, for one. She nodded a little, trying not to cry. It was stupid for her to cry - it wasn't her laid up in bed with the chance of not walking right again. It wasn't her who got into a car wreck, and she felt like crying would be selfish.
Didn't matter. "I can stay," she whispered. "I'm good luck. Everyone says so. Maybe this time it will work." Her eyes stung again, but she was way too focused on her friend to even bother with it, and she felt her cheeks burning as a cold tear slipped out.
She felt stupid and selfish, and it made her stomach twist into a knot, but it didn't matter. She'd call her gram and have her call the school to get her a buy out for the day. She'd just have Brittany get her homework, or whatever she needed. She'd skip soccer practice and drama. She needed to just stay so that she could fix it --
Now, he was glad that he hadn't just said it all straight and blunt. If he'd done that, she probably WOULD have cried, so the more subdued explanation was much better for both of them. He didn't want her to cry, especially for him. Almost like with Sebastian, he was the older one, the bigger one, so he could handle it. She didn't need to cry.
"Hey, relax over there, Juliet. I'm sure everything'll work out. You need to hang onto that luck of yours, so that it'll help you out when you have to do a kissing scene with Kevin. Everyone tells me he has garlic breath all the time," he told her, trying to turn the subject to lighter tones. Having her skip school to sit around a hospital room that she didn't really look comfortable in all day would just be selfish on his part, even if he didn't mind the company. Besides, he didn't think she'd want to be there when they pulled him out for surgery, which was supposed to be later that night, or early the next morning.
Besides, as much as he teased her, he wasn't so sure he believed in luck. He just figured that things would turn out the way they were supposed to turn out. For some reason, he'd gotten into this accident, and hopefully it would work out for him. If not, there had to be some reason for it. He wasn't so sure that it had anything at all to do with luck. He wouldn't deny that Dawn was definitely a fortunate person, with good things happening, and he didn't want that to change for her.
"I don't want to kiss Kevin," she growled, wiping angrily at her face. "I want to kiss you. I mean - wait. No, I don't want to kiss you, I just. Oh, fuck," she said, exasperated. At least she wasn't crying anymore - now she was bright red. Hey, the colour was back in her face, if nothing else. She looked away, embarrassed at that little outburst, which... was so NOT how she meant it.
When she looked back, she'd regained some of her composure. "I'm not doing the play with Kevin. I'll give my spot up to Erika if that's the case, so you'd better get better, okay?" she said, her voice breaking a little. She managed to hang on to her emotions otherwise, but she still reached over and took his hand. "Okay? Because Kevin is fail."
If Kevin only knew how much he repulsed Dawn; the kid might have killed himself. He was eighteen and hopelessly puppy-dogging her, and YES, he DID smell like garlic. And ONIONS. And she HATED HIM.
Okay, so it was a little mean, but watching her turn beet read instead of crying was a marked improvement. He even laughed, though that made his abused lips hurt all over again. Still, it was nice, and not at his expense this time. "Don't worry, I wouldn't blame you if you don't want to kiss me, even if I don't have garlic breath," he told her, and he would have winked if he could have done so and made it work. He wasn't even going to try.
Actually, it was kind of flattering to hear that Dawn, who hadn't struck him as being the sort to care about popularity and sports actually wanted to kiss him somewhere in the back of her mind enough to blush over it. It was cute. He just wished he could work all this out so that she wouldn't have to worry about Kev---oh.
She reached out to take his hand, and he squeezed hers back, understanding the seriousness of what she was saying. "Well, let's take it one step at a time. Do your practice scenes with Kevin, and hopefully I'll have some good news after that surgery," he offered her, trying to sound optimistic. None of what he'd been told sounded at all positive, but he didn't want her all upset and giving up her part in the play just over him. She'd worked hard, and she was good. There was no reason for her to give up an opportunity like that because he'd gone and been stupid.
Too bad he didn't know what his brother was going to be cooking up with Dr. Garrah over the next few hours, or he might have been feeling a lot more positive about it all.
"Okay," she said. She promised herself that she wouldn't go back to class until she knew what was going on. Everyone else in the class sucked. She didn't say as much, though, and allowed Desiré to think that she would do what he'd asked, more or less because she was a contrary little thing and she had a hard time making rational decisions when she felt emotional. That was Dawnie, alright.
"So... where is your brother?" she asked curiously, letting his hand go after a silent moment. She almost wanted to tell him why she hated this place so much, but no, she'd probably just blog about it later on her MySpace and lock it so nobody could see it. "I kind of figured he'd have been here when I got here."
He was appeased by her agreement, assuming (stupidly) that she'd agreed and would do so. The problem with Desiré was that he tended to give people the benefit of the doubt, which was essentially the opposite of Sebastian. His brother didn't seem to trust anyone. Naturally, Dez wasn't ridiculously trusting, but he was satisfied with the balance he'd achieved.
Sebastian didn't seem to agree.
"I hope he's at home, sleeping," he answered, being totally honest. "We hit the tree on my side, but he still got banged up pretty badly. He could use the rest."
Yeah, he had room to talk. Of all people, he should be the one sleeping, but he was sick of sleeping. He preferred to be up doing things. "He said he'd stop by later today."
Honestly, he was assuming that her discomfort at being in the hospital was the same as most teenagers. Most didn't like the smell, or the general images it brought up. Who wanted to go visit their friend in a hospital room? It meant that someone was hurt or unwell, and that everything wasn't right in their world. He had no idea that she'd had prior experience in hospitals, or how hard this really was.
"Dawn, are you okay? I'm glad you came, but you don't have to sit here if you don't want to," he told her, not wanting her to feel obligated. She really didn't have to stay.
"Maybe I'll swing by and bring him some muffins or something," she said thoughtfully. Dawn pretty much brought everyone muffins, but they seemed to like them, so she kept bringing them. She took his hand again, gently, and began tracing her fingers over it, more or less because it was something to do, she liked physical contact, and she liked Dez. Not in a boyfriend sort of like, but in a friend sort of like, and Dawn was a human, and a girl, and she couldn't hug him, so this was what he got.
When he asked her about why she was so shifty, she lowered her eyes a little. "No, I want to. It's just... I guess nobody really is expected to know since it was three years ago, and I mean, I didn't know you then, anyways..." she trailed off.
"The last time I was in a hospital, like really in one, was when my mom died. She had cancer. She looked like she might get better, but it went metastatic. I've never... seen someone just... deteriorate. Especially my mom. I mean, people die, but mom's aren't supposed to." She stopped short, abruptly, and tightened her grip on his hand a little without realizing it.
"It's just a bad memory. The doctors said they would fix her, and they didn't, so you can understand my apprehension about leaving you here at their mercy," she said, forcing a little laugh. It came out too wry for Dawn's normal fashion.
"Anyways," she continued, "that's the long and short of it. Don't feel bad for asking; you didn't know. I kind of feel a little better telling you. Not a lot of people know, it's just not something that comes up. But, really, Dez, I'll stay until you tell me to leave." She smiled reassuringly at him.
Dawn really was something else.
Muffins for Sebastian. Maybe that would be nice. He knew his brother was upset over this whole thing, but Sebastian never seemed to dislike Dawn, and Dez knew from experience that her muffins were good. It seemed to make her happy that everyone liked them, so he wasn't arguing. "He'd probably like that." At least, Desiré hoped he would. He hoped Sebastian would stop looking the way Desiré felt. He was starting to wonder just how much of the accident his younger brother was blaming himself for, or if he just felt horrible physically and it was manifesting in his expressions.
Either way, he wanted his brother to feel better.
He tore his thoughts away from his brother as Dawn started explaining what was wrong, and he actually blinked, surprised that she was even there. "I can't believe you came. If that had been my mom, I don't know if I'd have ever gone into a hospital again." Ignoring the necessity of being in one currently, of course. At least his own mom was going to be showing up later that day to coo over him and tell him that everything would be okay. Unlike with Sebastian, Desiré allowed his mom to hug him and tell him those little lies that they knew probably weren't true, but would make her feel better for a little while. Sebastian was realistic, usually pessimistic, and Dez had always seemed like the optimist. Now, looking at Dawn, he realized what a real optimist, what a real 'good person' was. Not him.
She had his hand again, and was holding it rather tightly, but he didn't mind. He squeezed it back, actually unsure how to proceed from here. Most of his friends, even the girls, didn't dump THIS kind of stuff on him. Most of his friends didn't seem to have these kind of problems, though. Now, whether she told him or not, he felt bad. "Man, I'm sorry. Really, I can't believe you're even here with all that. You're a much better person than I am."
If it had been his family, he'd have been much more of an ass to doctors, and about hospitals in general. Sebastian already had him beat, but it would have been much worse out of both brothers if that had been the case. Of course, there was still room for the whole, 'the doctors said they could fix it' bit. Thinking about what this mess could do to his family, especially his brother, was only worse when thinking about Dawn's problems. Would Desiré be like a living reminder for Sebastian if things went wrong here?
Shit.
"I hope so," said Dawn. She meant it. She didn't have this burning need for Sebastian to like her or anything, but she did enjoy being friends with people, and since Sebastian was Dez's brother, naturally she'd like that. Plus, as mentioned before, she liked his witty, darker sense of humour. It was refreshing, in a 'glad he's not saying that to me' sort of way.
"Of course I came," she said, chiding him lightly. "I wouldn't let that stop me. You're my friend, Dez. Think about it. Even if my mom were here still, she'd have told me to go anyways. She'd be more disappointed that I left you in here hanging out by yourself because I was scared." She didn't have to force a smile. Memories of her mother's wise lessons were something that Dawn could never be sad about; she was a better person for it. She knew her mom would have wanted her to grow from the experience, not regress.
"I'm no better than anyone else," she said firmly. "What time do you expect your family to be here, anyways? I don't want to crowd you any more than I already have." She didn't want to leave, not really. She still wanted to take the day off of school and try to grasp all of the info she'd just been fed, but really, she knew better. She'd just sit and worry, and she couldn't let her grades suffer again. It wouldn't do anyone any good, and she was sure that if she did, she'd get dropped from the play, and then Dez really would have something to bitch at her for.
He knew better than to push the issue, which was why he didn't. He'd gotten his point in, and pressing that conversation could only make her uncomfortable at this point. That was the last thing he wanted to do, since he really was glad she'd stopped by. No sense in spending all of the time she was there feeling awkward and stupid.
He felt enough of that already with this mess. He couldn't want to get moving regularly again, and had already decided that he was going to move around as much as was possible as soon as possible. The bathroom was only the first step, especially since sitting in this room was going to drive him up a wall. With as much time as he was used to spending outside, being stuck in the same room for extended lengths of time was going to get old fast.
"If you say so. My parents won't be around until after work, even though I had to talk my mom into going. Sebastian'll probably be around earlier, possibly after my Uncle's left and gone off to do his own thing. Less chance of them running into each other that way." It didn't take much to realize that Dirk wasn't super friendly, and that he and Sebastian didn't get along. Dirk liked to wander off to the park with his old man magazines in the afternoon.
Oh, shit. Would he today? Dez and Sebastian had been planning on going to get Dirk's magazines, but the accident screwed that up. He hoped his brother didn't have to deal with Dirk more than was necessary at home. That would suck.
"Well," she said, "I wish I'd brought some cards or something for us to do. Unfortunately all I brought was book and the Mountain Dew, which was kind of an accident anyways." Of course it was - Dawn's accidents were always in her own favour. Hey, it beat the machine just taking her money and not dropping anything, or worse, dropping a Tab. Gross.
"We could read some lines, but I imagine you're not really into that right now. I should steal my brother's PSP and bring it up here for you. I'm sure you could probably manage to tap out a few games of Tetris or something," she offered. It would be easy to get, they all had spent whatever Christmas/Graduation money they had on gaming systems. Boys.
"Nah, don't worry about it. No need to get your brothers pissed at you for my sake," he told her, and he really wasn't so sure how much time he'd have for games after he went into surgery. He was betting he'd be doped up quite a bit after that and doing a load of sleeping, and if it went the way they were saying it might, he wouldn't mind being doped up and sleeping. So far, he was avoiding putting any real thought into what all that would mean for him and his family, mostly because he knew it would be bad. The last thing he wanted was to end up being the reason his family went from fairly normal to dysfunctional and bitter.
Yeah, no reason to dwell on that, yet. If that was how things went, he'd have plenty of time for that afterwards.
Besides, didn't the PSP require two hands? With the way his one arm was wrapped up, he was thinking that wasn't quite going to work in his favor. "I'm up for anything that doesn't involve lots of moving, really. Lines would work, or if you wanna peek in the closet, I think my things are still in there. I don't know if they threw my clothes away or not, but I had some cash in my pockets. Don't the gift shops have some generic deck of cards or something?" he asked. He was pretty sure that they did. Actually...
"Give me a minute or two, and maybe I'll come with you," he told her, glancing at the IV beside him. It really didn't have anything useful in it, just Saline, and he had to admit that he was hating it. Couldn't he get them to take it out? It made his whole arm cold, not to mention sore. That, or he'd have to see if he could get Dawn to push it along with him while he was working the crutches. Yeah, it'd be annoying and it'd probably hurt like hell, but he couldn't say he would mind leaving the room.
"Okay, that would be cool," she said, brows raised. "The gift shops here are always stocked full of neat stuff. I don't know why they have so many knick-knacks, but they do. Hey, won't they get pissed if you leave your room?" she asked, tilting her head a little. "Maybe I can steal you a wheelchair or something," she trailed off, glancing out of the room for something that she could use to steer him around with.
She glanced back to him. "If you can't get free of all that junk, I can find the shop myself. I think I can anyways. I don't know why these places are always like rat mazes; it's like they want you to get lost or something." She stretched out a little before walking back to the chair, but she didn't sit down right yet - she was going to wait and see if Dez would get up or not, first.